


The Devil's Friend

by chaosgroupie



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-19
Updated: 2019-06-03
Packaged: 2020-03-07 15:35:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 38,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18876097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chaosgroupie/pseuds/chaosgroupie
Summary: Arabella makes a deal with the King of the Crossroads for a friend for ten years, in exchange for her soul. What follows is the story of what happens when Crowley actually becomes friends with Arabella and comes up with a loophole to taking her soul.I feel like I should add that there is no romance between Crowley and Arabella. It is a strictly platonic relationship. But don't worry, there will be eventual smut :DAnother thing I wanted to add...I'm doing my best to follow the canon storyline while adding Arabella into the story. The months/years noted, if they have stuff from the show in them, then it is from the date that they aired. For example, May 2013 correlates to season 8 episode 23. Just wanted to give y'all a little more context for the story.





	1. Chapter 1

July 2002 

“Do you guys have any bones from a black cat?” I asked timidly. I was planning on doing something that I had read about online, so I was in an occult shop far from my small little town.

My nervousness was for naught, the goth guy behind the counter just pointed to an aisle and grunted. Moving in the direction he sent me, I looked at the shelves chock full of random items. There was no way that all of this was real. Eye of newt, unicorn horn, dragon’s teeth...even I knew those things didn’t exist. In the middle of everything was a small box filled with various bones. The sign read, ‘Certified Black Cat.’ I couldn’t help but chuckle, even through my misery.

I grabbed a bone out of the box and hurried to the front. There was one more thing I needed, but I would get that on the way. At the checkout, I saw a small wooden box and since I needed one anyway, I went ahead and grabbed it. I paid for my items and climbed into my small 1983 Volkswagen Rabbit. It wasn’t too fast, but it got me from point A to B without breaking down.

The next stop on my list was the cemetery. When I climbed out of my car with a trowel in my hand, I was terrified. As much as I wanted to do this, I really had no desire to get caught. There is a distinct possibility that this could constitute graverobbing, which had the chance of sending me to jail.

The moon bright enough to light my way as I snuck into the graveyard, I still trembled at the thought of running into anyone. Once I felt deep enough inside, I found an old grave and placed my hand on the headstone, “I’m sorry. I don’t need a lot, just a little bit.” I knelt on the ground and using the trowel, scooped up some dirt from the grave and put it in the box with the bone. The box already contained my picture as well as a bit of my blood, so the only thing left to do was to go and find a crossroads.

Luckily, I had been planning this for a while and knew where there was a dirt crossroads out in the country that I could use. It was almost all the way back to my town, so it took almost an hour to get there. By the time I parked my car to the side of the road, it was almost midnight.

Taking the trowel and the box, I knelt at the center and started digging. The internet didn’t say if you were supposed to chant anything, but before putting the box into the ground, I simply said, “Please work.”

Once it was buried, I stood up and waited. About five minutes after I had buried the box, I was starting to get restless. Nothing happened, so I turned around to head back to my car and that was when I saw him. He was an older gentleman, probably in his late thirties, early forties. In his dark suit, he cut a dashing figure.

He frowned as he looked at me. “What can I do for you, love?” his voice was soothing, the English accent just making it more so.

“I’m here to make a deal,” my voice wavered, but I tried to sound strong and convincing.

He walked over to me, placed a finger under my chin, and tilted my head up so I was forced to look into his eyes, “How old are you?”

“Seventeen.”

“Hell,” he backed up a bit, “you’re too young, poppet. Go home and come back when you’re a little bit older.”

“No, please,” my voice broke as tears came to my eyes. “I know what I’m doing. I am making a deal to sell my soul in exchange for something I want. Then you will come for me in ten years to take my soul to hell. I may be seventeen, but I’ve done my research.”

He gave me an appraising look, “Well, why don’t you tell me what it is you want, and if I can give it to you we’ll make a deal.”

My head dropped down and a tear fell to the ground, “I just don’t want to be lonely anymore.” When I looked back up, his face was emotionless and guarded, “I’m surrounded by people who don’t know me. All I want is a friend who doesn’t ask for anything from me. Who is just there when I need them.”

“Poppet, I’m not sure I can help you.” His voice was surprisingly gentle for a demon, “I’m not entirely sure what you want.”

“Will you be my friend? I know it will only be for ten years, and that you’re probably busy getting souls for hell and everything, but I promise I won’t be too needy.” I looked at him, pleading for him to understand, “You could probably make someone be my friend, but that wouldn’t be real. At least if you were my friend, I would know exactly where I stood.”

He sighed and mumbled, “This is why I leave deal-making to the peons.” Straightening up, he moved closer to me, “Alright, I’ll be your friend, on one condition.”

“Anything,” my voice came out eager to please this man who was agreeing to be the first friend I’d had in longer than I cared to remember.

“I’m not going to be around all the time. You are right, I am a busy man. Most of that comes from the fact that I am King of the Crossroads. But, you remind me a bit of a girl I once knew, and for that, I will be your friend.” He took out a card and passed it to me, “Just give me a call whenever you need me, and I’ll be there.”

“Don’t we have to seal the deal?” I know I had read something like that online.

“Do you know how these deals are sealed?” I nodded and he smiled, “Alright, come here poppet. I don’t generally do those underage, but for you, I’ll make an exception.” He pulled me close and placed a chaste kiss on my lips, “Alright, remember what I said. Give me a call whenever you need me, and in ten years your soul will belong to hell.”

“Thanks.” When he turned to leave, I grabbed his arm, “I’m Arabella.”

“Bella, that’s a beautiful name.” He smiled, “Name’s Crowley. Now, I’ve got to go, people to torture and all that. But I promise I’ll see you soon, poppet.”

November 2002 

I had waited as long as I could to contact Crowley. He had told me to contact him whenever, but I felt bad every single time I tried. So instead, I stayed lonely. But it was my eighteenth birthday and I didn’t want to be alone. So I called Crowley.

The phone rang three times before he picked up, “This had better be good.”

“Hi, Crowley,” I said softly.

“Ah, my new best friend,” I could hear the smile in his voice. “I expected to hear from you much sooner.”

“I didn’t want to bother you.” I took a deep breath, not sure that I wanted to ask my next question, “It’s my birthday today. Would you…”

“Of course, poppet, I’ll be right there. We can go wherever you want,” he hung up the phone.

Minutes later, my parent's doorbell rang. I got off the couch and answered it, thankful that my parents were never home, not even on my birthday. “Crowley,” I looked down at the ground, nervous. “Thanks for coming.”

He lifted my face like he had that first night, “Poppet, I don’t renege on my deals. I made a deal to be your friend, and that is what I will do.” He rubbed his hands together, “Where do you want to go? Paris, Berlin, Rome, Atlantis? Anywhere you want to go, I will take you there.”

“I want a quiet night. I just don’t want to be alone.”

Crowley pulled me into his arms for a tight hug, “Alright.” He poofed us to the inside of a large house. Antique furnishings were everywhere, with paintings on the wall that looked like originals that had been missing from museums for ages. There was even one that looked like the Mona Lisa, but she was naked.

“What do you think?” he had my hand and was pulling me through the house. Plush carpets softened our footsteps, “This is my home away from home. Hell is just so passe anymore. As much fun as it is listening to people scream all day, sometimes you just want to get away from it all.”

“It’s beautiful,” I could honestly see why Crowley preferred this mansion to hell. “What are we doing here?”

He stopped when we got to the dining room. A large hand carved wooden table sat in the center of the room, surrounded by ten chairs made of the same wood. He pulled out a chair, “Take a seat, poppet.”

I sat in the chair he’d pulled out for me and he sat down in the chair next to me. A wet tongue licked my hand. When I looked down, I didn’t see anything and my heart started beating fast and erratic. I moved my hand and could feel fur, but it was disconcerting not being able to see the creature beneath my hand.

“That’s Juliet. She’s a sweetheart, promise,” he chuckled. He snapped his fingers and the fur disappeared from my hand. He started moving his hand as if he were petting something. As he did, brown and black fur started to sprout as if from nowhere, leaving a German shepherd that was twice the size of a normal dog. “She’s a hellhound. Normally, she’s a lot scarier looking than this. But this is the form she uses when I need her to be not as terrifying.”

Juliet moved over to me and laid her large head on my lap. I scratched behind her ears, “Hi, Juliet.” I smiled, the first time I had done so in years. “She’s beautiful and so sweet.”

He threw back his head in laughter, “Juliet is anything but sweet. She just likes you.”

Two men in matching suits came up. One of them bent and whispered in Crowley’s ear. He growled, “I told you I was not to be disturbed. Take care of it.”

“You can go if you need to,” I said softly, looking down at Juliet. “I don’t want to keep you from your work.”

“Poppet, I’m not going anywhere. These wankers can take care of it.” He snapped his fingers and the two men left the room. Another person came in, this time a woman in a chef’s outfit carrying two plates of food. She set it down and then promptly left the room. “I hope you like bangers and mash.”

I looked at the plate, “I love sausage and mashed potatoes.” I cut off a huge bite and stuck it in my mouth. While I chewed, I cut a piece of sausage and fed it to Juliet.

“You’re going to spoil her,” he chided me, but just laughed when I gave her another piece. “You know, she’s the most fearsome beast we have in hell. If you turn her into a lap dog, I won’t be too happy.”

“I’m sure she will still rip people to shreds whenever you want her to.” I looked down at her and scratched her head again, causing her tongue to hang out the side of her mouth, “You’re a scary puppy, aren’t you? Yes, you are.” I went back to eating the food, moaning with how good it was.

Once we were finished eating, the chef came back with two more plates, setting them down before taking the others away. On the plates were large pieces of chocolate cake. Crowley looked at me, “I don’t have to sing, do I?”

“No, it’s okay.” I smiled at him, “You’re not such a bad guy, you know.”

“Shh, don’t tell anyone. Otherwise, how will I inspire fear in my minions.”

I stood and gave him a hug, kissing his cheek, “Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me.”

December 2002

“Hello, poppet,” Crowley sounded tired on the phone.

“Hi, Crowley,” I probably sounded down again, but my parents had left me home alone for the holidays. Deciding that a trip to Bali was more important than their kid.

“What’s up? Are you doing okay?”

“It’s Christmas,” I ignored his question. “Do you celebrate Christmas? Did Christ even exist?”

“Heavy topic for a day that’s supposed to be light and fluffy.” He paused, “And no, I don’t celebrate Christmas, not in the way you would expect. I do enjoy a little extra torturing though. I save today for the child molesting priests who thought they would get away with it because of their belief that Jesus died for their sins.”

I could hear the sarcasm in his voice and I smiled, “Thanks, Crowley. You always know the right thing to say.”

“I can’t come right now because I have a meeting with a particularly nasty piece of work that is getting my personal touch in a few minutes. Do you want me to send Juliet?”

“Would you?” my voice rose as I grew excited to see my favorite hellhound again.

“Of course.” A few seconds later the doorbell rang. I got up from the couch and opened the door, smiling when I saw Juliet in her dog form with a guy holding her on a leash. “Now, I know she doesn’t actually need a leash, but then you can take her for a walk if you want.”

“Crowley, she’s twice the size of a Newfie, almost 300 pounds. No one is going to believe I can control her.”

“Fuck them.” His brogue grew thicker when he cussed, showing the Scottish ancestry that he tried to hide, “She loves you and will protect you. Besides, she knows how to behave.”

I took the leash from the demon and he nodded before disappearing. “Alright, thanks again, Crowley. Now you better get off the phone and give that guy hell. I hope you reserve special punishments for child molesters.”

“Poppet,” his voice practically purred, “I do indeed.”

After he hung up, I looked down at Juliet, “What do you say, Juliet. Do you want to go outside, or just watch a movie?”

She cocked her head from side to side as if thinking about it. Something interesting about hellhounds, they have more intelligence than anyone gives them credit for. If I had to guess, I would say they were about as smart as an eight-year-old child. So she knew exactly what I was asking. The other demons didn’t know that they weren’t just dumb animals, but Crowley had explained that to me one night when I was curious why Juliet ran out of the room and came back with his book when asked.

She barked, a deep terrifying sound, and pulled me toward the door. “Alright, sweetheart, let me grab my keys and we’ll take a walk.” I dropped her leash and she sat there, patiently waiting as I grabbed the necessities. “Let’s go.”

We walked down the cold, empty streets. A few people came out of their houses as if to join us, but the second they saw Juliet, they scurried back inside. Normally, I would be sad that I was alone. But Juliet just brushed up against my side and licked my fingers.

When we got to the park, I took off her leash. There was no one else around and I wanted to let her run free. I kneeled on the ground and let her lick my face, “Be safe, sweetheart. If you see anyone, come back to me. I don’t want to get you taken away from me because someone was scared.” She let out a bark of laughter and I smiled, “Yes, I know you could just kill them, but please don’t. I have to live here. Just come back to me and I’ll put the leash back on, everyone wins.” Her little doggie eyebrow arched, “You get to maim people all the time, just be a dog for a bit. Run, enjoy the open air.”

She grinned and took off, bouncing all over the grass. I sat down on the bench and heard a chuckle behind me. When I turned to look, I saw an absolutely gorgeous guy standing behind me and was struck speechless. He sat down next to me and I could see his brilliant green eyes sparkle as he looked at me.

“She’s a little big for a German Shepherd,” his voice was deep and calm.

I opened my mouth, but no sound came out. He laughed, “It almost looked as if you were having a conversation with a dog for a second.”

“So what if I was,” I crossed my arms over my chest, defensively. “She’s a smart dog. She knows more than most humans I know.”

He held up his hands, “Sorry, sorry. My pops and I are just passing through town. He’s passed out drunk, so I thought I would see if there was anything worth seeing in this little town.” He looked at me and smiled, “I’m glad I found something that was.”

The sound of thudding had me looking up as Juliet came barreling toward us. She stopped a foot away from the guy and started growling. Her growl was not like a normal dog. It sounded more like a cross between a tiger and a bear, mixed in with a little bit of tyrannosaurus-rex for good measure.

“Juliet,” I admonished. “He’s not hurting me.” She took a step back away from him and sat down, but still kept growling from deep in her throat. I looked at him, “Sorry, she doesn’t really like...people.”

“Holy fuck,” his eyes were wide and I could see him trembling. “She’s a fuckton bigger than I thought she was. How much does she weigh?”

“About 325.”

“Jesus,” he scooted away from me on the bench until we were both on opposite sides, a good two feet between us. Juliet quieted down a bit and moved over to me, resting her head on my knee. Once I scratched behind her ear, she calmed down. “Where in the hell did you get her?”

I threw back my head and laughed, “What would say if I said Hell?”

“I’d say you were lying, but since you’re cute it’s okay,” the fear was gone because Juliet was quiet. Instead, he wore a cocky grin and winked at me. As he said cute, Juliet lifted her head and growled again, “I’m sorry, I won’t say she’s cute again.” Juliet settled down again, “So, what’s her name?”

“Juliet. She’s not actually mine, she belongs to a friend. He loaned her to me because I’m alone tonight.” I bent over and hugged Juliet, “My parents are in Bali, and he had to tor...he had to deal with some work stuff tonight. But having Juliet is a great compromise.”

The guy stood from the bench and I noticed a peculiar necklace he was wearing. It looked like a humanoid being with horns, made out of brass on a black cord. He saw me looking at it and smiled, a soft look on his face, “My brother gave this to me eleven years ago when my dad was out hun...on a business trip on Christmas. He’s at Stanford right now, and I miss him something terrible. It’s the other reason I’m out here alone, walking the streets, trying not to get eaten by giant dogs.”

I laughed and clipped Juliet’s leash back on, “Well, it was nice to meet you. But I should probably get going.” I stood and started walking away, but something had me stopping and I looked over my shoulder, “You should call him. No one should be without their family at Christmas. I’m sure he misses you as much as you miss him.”

He took his phone out of his pocket, dialed a number and mouthed ‘thank you’ to me. As I walked away, I heard him say softly, “Sammy.”

 


	2. Chapter 2

February 2003

Crowley led me through his house. I was wearing a blindfold because he told me that he had a ‘surprise’ for me, whatever that meant. I tripped over a rug, “Where are we going, Crowley?”

“I said it was a surprise,” he continued to drag me through his mansion by the hand. “It’s something to make you feel more at home here.”

He stopped and I heard a door opening. When he pulled me into the room, he said, “Close your eyes.” I did as he asked and felt the blindfold get removed. “Alright, you can open them now.”

As I did, I saw a huge couch taking up most of the room. It was in the shape of a boxy U, the seats deeper than a normal couch, and it looked to be made of super plush material. Juliet was lying on one of the wings of the couch, her legs in the air as she grinned at me. I hadn’t even noticed the television that was taking up the entire wall until a movie started to play on it.

I turned to Crowley, “You made me a movie theater?” My voice wavered as I looked at him, “No one has ever done anything this nice for me before.” I pulled him into a tight hug.

“Anything for my poppet. I know how much you hate going out in crowds, so I figured what better way to keep you safe and happy than to create you your own movie theater. And here, you get the benefit of cuddling with Juliet.” He pulled back, embarrassed from my affections, “Now, I managed to get a copy of Bruce Almighty before it’s released in May. The studio exec sold his soul for the position, so it comes with some perks on my end. I was thinking we could watch it together.”

“You’re the best, Crowley,” I kissed his cheek and climbed onto the couch, laughing as Juliet scooted over to me, putting her head on my lap. I patted the seat next to me, “Come on, oh terrifying King of the Crossroads, sit down and relax.”

November 2004

“Really, Aliens? This is how you want to spend your birthday?” Crowley’s voice was incredulous as I snuggled up against him.

We were sitting on a huge couch in his mansion, the biggest television I had ever seen in front of us. After he found out that I loved watching movies but hated being in large crowds of people, he had converted one of the rooms in his house into a media room. Whenever I needed him, Crowley brought me here and we watched movies together.

“I just want to spend time with you, I don’t care what we do.” I pressed pause, “We can watch something else if you would rather.”

“Nope,” he took the remote and pressed play. “We’re going to watch your favorite movie. What good is having a best friend if you can’t make me do the things you love.”

I took the remote and pressed pause again, pulling away from Crowley, “Why are you so nice to me? I know you have to be, because of the deal, but…”

“Yes, we have a deal, but that’s not why I am so nice.” Crowley pulled me back against him and ran a hand down my head and hair, “I enjoy spending time with you. You are the one who taught me that there is more to torturing people than just beating them over and over again. When that CEO was brought to hell after his ten years, you helped me figure out that his deepest fear was everyone finding out he had a micropenis. Now, I torture him by having people laugh at him while he’s on display. Ever so much more effective than bleeding him.”

I shrugged, “I didn’t mean to help you with that, you know.”

“I know, but you still did. Agony is up 63% since you came into my life. You’re making me look good down in hell,” he kissed the top of my head and pressed play on the remote. “Now, let’s watch the movie.”

July 2006

“So, Crowley, I know you’re the King of Hell and all, but you are a demon, right?” I was leading up to the question that I wanted to know the answer to for years.

An eyebrow arched, “Yes, poppet, I am a demon.” He paused the movie and turned to me, “Why do you ask?”

“What did you sell your soul for?” When he gave me a look, I said quickly, “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. I’m just curious, that’s all. I think it’s interesting what people find important enough to sell something so precious.”

“Well, you did sell your soul to be friends with the devil.”

“Yes, I did. And I don’t regret it,” I snuggled up against him.

“Fine,” he sighed. “I sold my soul for three inches.”

“Three inches?” I pulled away, confused. “I don’t get it.”

He looked down at his lap, then back up at me, “Three inches of length, poppet. I wanted to hit double digits.”

I glanced down at his crotch and back up to his mortified face. I couldn’t stop the laughter as it bubbled up inside me. “You...sold...your soul...for a bigger dick.” I fell off the couch onto the floor, holding my stomach as I laughed.

“Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, poppet.” He glared at me playfully, “I’ll have you know, those three inches garnered me more attention from the ladies than I could handle. Women love a man with a big...you know.”

I sat up on the floor, wiping the tears from my eyes, “There are worse things to sell your soul for. Didn’t you tell me about that guy who sold his soul for a pie?”

“Yeah,” he perked up. “There have been some silly ones.”

I got off the floor and sat down next to him, leaning against his side, “Let’s get back to the movie.” As he pressed play, I said, “Thanks for telling me, Crowley.”

“Anything for you, poppet.”

May 2007

“Boss, boss,” a beautiful woman in a black dress burst into the movie room and Crowley sighed, pausing the movie we were watching. He just glared at her, “I landed a big fish tonight.”

I saw as Crowley’s eyes widened, “And who is this big fish you supposedly caught?” I could tell he was irritated, which obviously his demon was oblivious to, but he also seemed excited.

“Dean Winchester,” she said proudly, standing up a little bit straighter.

I narrowed my eyes, not having heard that name before. And after hanging out with Crowley for five years, I knew almost all of the big players. I remember how happy he was when Azazel was killed, and the joy on his face when one of the past sitting presidents died and he got to drag their soul to hell. But I had never heard the name Dean Winchester before.

“Really?” he stood and raised an eyebrow. “How did you manage that?”

“He went to make a deal. His soul for his brother being brought back.”

“You’re saying I only have to wait ten years and then I get Dean Winchester’s soul,” he chuckled. “This is bloody fantastic.”

“Actually, sir, I may have taken a little bit of initiative.” She gulped as Crowley’s eyes narrowed in anger, “I know how much trouble he has been for you, sir, and I didn’t want to make the deal at all. But he begged so prettily for his brother,” she grinned. “I gave him just one year in exchange for his little brother.”

“Normally, I would flay you alive for such insolence,” he walked over to her and grinned as she flinched. “But in this case, I’m not upset. It will be interesting to have Dean Winchester in hell. Now go, I’m watching a movie.”

She bowed and left the room. When Crowley joined me on the couch, I turned to him, “Who is Dean Winchester?”

His gaze softened and he kissed my forehead, “Don’t worry your pretty little head about that, poppet. Suffice to say that he is a thorn in my side, and I will be happy when I can have him under my tender mercies.”

August 2008

“Come on, Crowley,” I stood in my apartment living room, arms crossed over my chest. “You promised that you would show me what you do. I already know you’re the King of Hell. I already know that people sell their soul to you and then after their ten years is up, a hellhound comes for them and drags them to Hell. I just want to see what happens after that.”

“Poppet,” he sounded so sad. “I don’t want you to have nightmares.”

“I’m a big birl, Crowley. Not a little child anymore. I can even drink legally, so…” I stuck my tongue out at him and he laughed.

“Are you sure?” he asked carefully. “Once you see this, it’s hard to unsee.”

“Yes, I’m sure.” I held out my hand and he took it, “Let’s go.”

He poofed us into hell and I looked around. Seeing it for the first time, it was different than I had imagined. There was a long corridor with many doors on each side. Every door had a name written on it. Below the name was their crime and how long they had been there. The first door I saw read ‘Marcus Junius Brutus, Killed Gaius Julius Cesar, 2050 years.

“Seriously, over 2000 years?”

“We don’t visit him too often, he’s a bit boring. Likes the whips a little too much,” Crowley winked and then whistled. I felt fur beneath my hand but didn’t see Juliet. She was in her hellhound form. “Juliet will keep you safe. When you want to leave, just let her know and she will guide you out.” He placed a kiss on the top of my head, “I just don’t want to see the look in your eyes turn to hate and fear of me.”

He poofed out and I looked down the long hallway. “Come on, Juliet. Let’s explore.”

We walked for ages, stopping only to read the names on the doors. I didn’t see any demons around, and for that I was thankful. I really didn’t like the other demons. They gave off super creepy vibes. Crowley may have been a demon, but he was the most human out of all of them.

After walking for a bit, I stopped in front of a door that read, ‘Dean Winchester, Sold for Brother’s Life, 3 months.’ “What do you think, Juliet? Will Crowley be mad if I go in there?” she licked my hand in response. “Well, I’m going to see. I’ve been wondering about him for ages now.”

I pushed open the door and saw a demon holding a bullwhip with a metal tip on the end. He swung it through the air and I could hear it whistle. When it struck flesh, the scream that erupted from Dean chilled me to my soul. I stepped in and the demon saw me, “What are you doing here?” He glared at me, “Pets don’t belong down here.”

I thought fast, “Crowley was asking for you.”

“Really?” he didn’t sound like he believed me, but still took a step away from Dean. “Do you even know my name, little girl?”

“No,” I shook my head, digging my fingers into Juliet’s fur trying to hide my terror. “Crowley just told me to find the dumb demon beating on Dean Winchester and send him upstairs. That’s all. I’m not privy to anything else.”

“Fine,” he threw down the whip and left the room, slamming the door behind him.

I ran over to man strung up. There were hooks through his shoulder and his stomach that looked so painful I almost threw up. I walked up to him carefully and lifted his head. His face looked so familiar, but I couldn’t quite remember. Juliet whined, “What is it, girl?” She nudged my side, “I don’t know. Do we know him from somewhere?”

His eyes opened and the green eyes that had haunted my dreams looked at me. He whimpered, “Please, no more. I can’t take anymore.”

Tears rolled down his cheeks and I wiped them away as they fell, “I’m sorry, Dean. I wish I could help you. I really do.” I saw a bucket of water off to the side, probably used to waterboard him. I made my hands into a cup and scooped up some of the water into my hands, “Here you go, drink this slowly.” I poured it into his mouth and he drank it down.

I don’t even think he really saw me. His eyes were just lost in the terror that comes from being tortured for an extended period of time. I did it a couple more times, bring him water to drink. If nothing else, I could give him a little bit of comfort.

When the door slammed open, I jumped away from him. The demon looked at me with a murderous glare, “What the fuck are you doing?”

“I was trying to see if there was a better way to torture him than beating him.” I waved at his body, trying to make something up, “He looks like a man who has known pain his whole life. Do you really think that beating him is going to break him?”

The demon sighed, “Just go. I have work to do.”

I looked back at Dean and whispered, “I’m sorry,” before running out of the room. Once the door was shut, I let myself cry, “Just take me back to Crowley, I can’t take this anymore.”

Once we were back in his mansion, Crowley pulled me into his arms, “Are you okay, poppet?”

I didn’t tell him about Dean. He didn’t need to know about Christmas or the fact that Dean’s green eyes were all I saw when I slept at night. “I’ll be fine. I knew what I was getting myself in to, I just didn’t really realize how bad it would be.”

“I’m sorry,” he rubbed my back. “I would spare you that if I could.”

“I know, Crowley. But it was my choice.” I pulled back, “Can we have pizza tonight? Mushrooms and pineapple?”

He laughed, just like I knew he would, “I will never understand how you can eat fruit on pizza. But yes, we can have mushroom and pineapple pizza.” He whispered in my ear, “I would give you the world if I could.”


	3. Chapter 3

November 2009

“Crowley, what are we doing here?” we were underneath an overpass, standing there waiting for something. “You said you were going to show me your job for my birthday. I’m twenty-five now, I just want to get to know you better. We only have three more years, you know.”

“Just wait, poppet, it’s coming. The guy coming today is going to have quite the surprise when he sees me.”

A large Bentley pulled under the overpass, far enough away from us that they didn’t know we were there. An old man climbed out of the back, looking around to make sure no one was watching. He kneeled on the ground and dug a hole, burying a box in the ground.

Crowley whispered to me, “Come on, poppet, let’s go give this guy the fright of his life.” He grabbed my hand and we popped in behind him. Crowley’s voice deepened, “Mr. Pendleton, I presume.”

The old man turned around and looked at us in shock, eyes flitting from me to Crowley and back again. Crowley chuckled, “Name’s Crowley.”

“In my negotiations, I was, uh, dealing with a very young, attractive, uh, lady.” Pendleton seemed really uncomfortable to see a man standing there instead of a woman.

Crowley grinned evilly, “Yes, I know. But you, piggy bank, you are a big fish, and I wanted to do you the honor of sealing this deal personally.” He leaned down and whispered in my ear, “It gets better, poppet, just watch.”

The old man looked like he was going to throw up, “She said the deal would be sealed with a kiss.”

“That’s right,” he grinned so big I was fairly certain his cheeks were probably hurting.

“No, I mean, she said...I don’t…”

“Your choice,” Crowley took a couple of steps closer to Pendleton. “You can cling to six decades of deep-seated homophobia, or give it up and get a complete bailout for your bank’s ridiculous incompetence.” He moved even closer so he was only inches away.

“There are just things that I…”

“Going once.”

“I don’t think so…”

“Going twice,” Crowley looked so pleased.

“All right! All right!” Crowley pulled Pendleton toward him, “No…”

But Crowley’s lips met Pendleton’s anyway. I even saw him slip in a little tongue. A chuckle broke out of me and I had to put my hand over my mouth to try and stifle the noise.

When Crowley pulled away, Pendleton wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, “Damn you.” He turned to walk back to his car.

“Enjoy the obscene wealth. See you in ten years.” Once the car was gone, Crowley turned to me, “So, what did you think?”

“That was awesome,” I grinned as I started laughing, my entire body shaking. “The best part was that he hated every second of it. He knew what he was getting himself into, and he consented. But I love seeing homophobic bastards get their due.” I pulled out my phone, “I got a picture of it too. I can send it to you if you want it.”

“Of course, poppet. I can use it in ten years to remind him of his deal. You wouldn’t believe how many people forget about that kind of thing.” He grabbed my hand and we poofed to his mansion. “Let’s watch a movie, poppet. Maybe we can watch…”

“That movie that you’ve been trying to get me to watch.” I rolled my eyes, “Alright, get someone to bring us some popcorn and we’ll watch it. We’ve been friends for long enough now, I can watch your silly old movie.”

He put in Night Train to Munich and pressed play as one of his demon minions brought us popcorn. “You’re going to love this, poppet.”

“Pretty sure I won’t,” I laughed. “But I will enjoy it because you do.” We started watching and I snuggled against him.

About twenty minutes into the film, the power cut out, “Goddammit.” Crowley sounded angry. Angrier than I had ever seen him. “What half-wit tripped the breaker?” He stood and I did as well, “You should stay here poppet.”

“No way, Crowley. I’m not staying in a dark room in a house full of demons by myself.”

“Poppet, I’m the King of Hell, no one would dare touch you in my house.”

I stood on my toes and kissed his cheek, “But you’re my King of Hell. And I still don’t trust your minions.”

“Fine, you can come.” He grabbed my hand and we left the room. Two men were standing outside the room, holding a gun pointing at him.

“It’s Crowley, right?” the taller man said. I was struck by how pretty he was, with his shaggy hair and muscular shoulders. But when I saw the shorter man, my mind froze. I recognized him, even though I wasn’t sure how he had gotten out of hell.

“So. The Hardy Boys finally found me. Took you long enough.” Crowley sounded exasperated. He leaned down and whispered in my ear, “Moose and Squirrel here are the banes of my existence.”

“Moose and Squirrel?” I said it loud enough that the boys heard. I could tell they were irritated, but they just kept pointing the gun.

Crowley pointed to the tall one, then the one with green eyes, “Sam and Dean Winchester. Saviors of the universe.” He tried to take a step off the rug he was standing on, but couldn’t move. He knelt and picked up the corner to expose red paint on the floor, “Do you have any idea how much this rug cost?”

Two demons came in behind Sam and Dean, disarming and grabbing them. I winced when I saw how hard they were being held. One of the demons tossed the gun to Crowley, “This is it, right? This is what it’s all about.”

Crowley pointed the gun at Dean and I held my breath, taking a step off the rug. When the boys saw me step off, their faces looked confused. I’m guessing they thought I was a demon and that whatever was painted under the rug would stop a demon from escaping it.

Suddenly, Crowley shot both of his minions and lowered the gun, “We need to talk. Privately. Poppet, be a good lass and scrape the paint so we can go to my office.”

I did as he asked, scraping a hole in the paint. Both of the boys were looking at me now, with different expressions on their faces. Sam was looking at me with confusion and amazement like he wasn’t sure why I was helping the King of Hell. Dean, however, had this look on his face that I was having a hard time identifying. He kept moving his eyes up and down my body, and the heat from his eyes made something ache inside me.

We all went into Crowley’s office and Dean spoke, his deep voice shocking me, “What the hell is this?”

“Do you know how deep I could have buried this?” Crowley sat on the edge of the desk and waved his hand, the door slamming shut behind the boys. “There’s no reason you or anyone should know this even exists, except that I told you.”

“You told us?” Sam sounded incredulous.

“Rumors, innuendo, sent out on the grapevine.” Crowley stood and walked over to his scotch, pouring himself a glass.

“Why? Why tell us anything?”

Crowley took aim at Dean again. When I made a choking sound, he gave me a look that said ‘be quiet.’ “I want you to take this thing to Lucifer, and empty it into his face.”

“Uh-huh, okay, and why exactly would you want the devil dead?”

I walked over to Crowley and put my hand on his arm. He lowered the gun and I said quietly, “Lucifer?”

“Long story, poppet. Remind me to tell you later.” He looked back at Dean, “It’s called survival. Well, I forgot you two at best are functioning morons…”

“You’re functioning…morons…” Dean stuttered.

I started laughing so hard that I stopped making noise. When I stopped breathing, all three men were looking at me. Dean looked at Crowley, “Shouldn’t you do something about your whore over there.”

At those words, I stopped laughing and stood up straight. I may not have any friends other than Crowley, and I may not have the highest self-esteem, but I wouldn’t stand for someone calling me a whore. I started to walk toward Dean and Crowley grabbed my arm, shaking his head. “Be nice to poppet or I won’t help you.” He sighed, “Lucifer isn't a demon, remember? He's an angel. An angel famous for his hatred of humankind. To him, you're just filthy bags of pus. If that's the way he feels about you, what can he think about us?”

“But he created you,” Sam’s words came out like he couldn’t believe what Crowley was saying.

“To him, we're just servants. Cannon fodder.” Crowley stepped in front of me, blocking me from the Winchester boys questioning gazes, “If Lucifer manages to exterminate humankind, we're next. So, help me, huh? Let's all go back to simpler, better times, back to when we could all follow our natures. I'm in sales, dammit! So what do you say if I give you this thing, and you go kill the devil?”

He held the gun out to them. When both boys just stood there, he wiggled it at them. Sam took it, “Great.”

“Great.”

“You wouldn’t happen to know where the devil is, by chance, would you?” Sam looked at the gun in his hands.

“Thursday, birdies tell me, there’s an appointment in Carthage, Missouri.”

Sam looked at Dean and they nodded, “Great.” He pointed the barrel between Crowley’s eyes. When he pulled the trigger, I almost fainted. But the gun just clicked. The boys stared at Crowley in surprise.

Crowley stared back, a stoic look on his face, “Oh, yeah, right. You’ll probably need some more ammunition.”

“What the fuck are you doing, Crowley?” I hissed at him, angry at him for not letting me in on his plan. I had just almost lost the only person I cared about, and he was acting like it was nothing.

“Don’t worry, poppet, Dean and Sam need me right now. If they actually killed me, I know you would avenge me,” he placed a kiss on my forehead and walked behind his desk, opening the drawers.

“Oh, uh, excuse me for asking, but aren’t you kind of signing your own death warrant? I mean, what happens to you if we go up against the devil and lose?” Dean’s deep voice was still doing things to me, but I couldn’t keep from glaring at him.

“Number one, he’s going to wipe us all out anyway.” He pulled something out of his desk, “Two, after you leave here, I go on an extended vacation to all points nowhere. And three, how about you don’t miss, okay. Morons!” He threw a box at Dean, who caught it and opened it, seeing the bullets inside. Crowley held out his hand and I took it, “Moose, Squirrel.” He poofed us away, back to my apartment.

I was breathless when we got back. Anger and other emotions I hadn’t felt in a while bubbled to the surface, “What was that, Crowley? Who were those boys? Why did you help them? Why did you kill your own demons?”

“First things first, poppet.” He went into my kitchen and opened the fridge, coming out with a white box. When he opened it I saw a piece of chocolate cake, my favorite kind, “Happy birthday. I’m sorry that it got messed up by the boys.”

My face flushed, “I didn’t mind, not really. Except when Sam pulled the trigger when the gun was pointed at you. It would have been nice to know that you weren’t going to die.” I punched him in the arm as hard as I could, “That wasn’t very nice.”

“I’m sorry, poppet.” He put down the cake and pulled me into his arms, “I didn’t mean to make you worry. You shouldn’t have seen that at all.” He let go and put the cake on a plate, pushing me into a chair at my dining room table. When he put a fork in my hand, he smiled then sat down. “So, as I said, those boys are the Winchesters. They have killed demons before and are just generally pains in my ass. But they are good kids, even if they do ruin my plans whenever they get the chance.”

“Why did you help them? Who’s Lucifer?”

“Lucifer is the devil himself. The literal fallen angel whom God kicked out and sentenced to rule hell. If he gets back into power, it will not be a good thing. He will not only kill all demons but all of life on Earth too. There is a reason that God kicked him out of heaven.” Crowley took the fork from me and put a big bite of cake in his mouth, “Delicious.”

He handed the fork back to me, “I can see that you have other questions. I’m sure that most of them have to do with Squirrel.” I flushed and he chuckled, “Yes, I could see your eyes following him when he was there. And in case you were wondering, he looked at you the same way too. I’m pretty sure he looked at you the same way he looks at pie like you are something good to eat.”

“He was gorgeous,” I said nonchalantly. “But he would never be interested in someone like me.”

“Poppet,” Crowley’s voice lowered as he growled. “What have I told you about self-deprecation? You are beautiful and any man would be lucky to have you.”

“Whether that’s true or not, I only have three years, Crowley. Three years, then my soul goes to hell.” His eyes grew sad and I looked away, taking a bite from my cake, “I’m sorry. I made the deal, I’m not mad at you.”

“Let’s not worry about his now, poppet.” He patted my back, “Just enjoy your cake.”


	4. Chapter 4

October 2010

“You’re birthday is coming up again soon.” Crowley poured me a drink, handing it to me, “Have you decided what you want to do yet?”

I sighed and took the drink, swallowing it in one go, “Crowley, I’m turning twenty-six. Haven’t you ever just wanted to be normal? That’s all I want.” I set the cup down and leaned against him. When he started rubbing my back, I sighed again, “I love spending time with you Crowley, but I sometimes wonder what life would be like if I had never known how great friendship could be.”

“Poppet,” he murmured. Suddenly, he tensed, his arms tightened around me. We poofed into an old house that looked like it was in the middle of nowhere. An older man with a beard stared at both of us and Crowley laughed, “Been making merry, have we?”

“Bite me,” the older man’s voice was gruff.

“If that’s your thing,” Crowley let go of me and snapped his fingers, turning off the television. He took a step towards the other man, “That swan dive of Sam's was a thing of beauty. Tens all the way round. Standing ov from the Romanian judge. You should be proud, Bobby. As deaths go, it wasn’t too shabby. Cheer up, mate, we just saved the sodding world together. Me, I've been celebrating.”

“I’d hate to see what you call celebrating.”

“Yes, you would.”

Bobby lifted up a bottle of alcohol, “Drink?”

Crowley grimaced and I chuckled, “No!”

Bobby poured himself a drink and downed it, “Let me get this straight...we just ‘saved the sodding world together,’ and you’re too good to drink with me.”

I spoke up, “Sorry, Bobby, but that’s not his brand.”

“Poppet,” Crowley’s voice lowered, “keep out of this.”

“Yeah, poppet, keep out of it.” Bobby mocked Crowley and I crossed my arms over my chest. He looked at Crowley, “What’s your poison, your highness?”

“Craig. Aged 30 years at least. I've been drinking it since grade school.”

“Well, I got old rotgut aged 6 days,” Bobby poured another drink and downed it.

“Swill like that is gonna burn a hole in your soul – oops sorry, my soul. But that’s why you called. Our little deal.”

“Crowley, what are you talking about?” I whispered to him. He just ignored me.

“Yeah, well, it’s about time you hold up your end and give it back,” Bobby sounded angry.

“Give it back?”

“Our deal was, we ice Lucifer, you rip up the lease.”

Crowley smirked, “Oh. You didn’t read your contract.”

“The hell you talking about, contract?”

Crowley turned back to bobby, snapped his fingers and pointed. Bobby started to writhe in pain as writing appeared on his body, “Paragraph 18, subsection B, which is on your naughty bits – I only have to make ‘best efforts’ to give you back your soul.”

“Crowley,” I tried again and this time, he glared at me.

“Meaning what?” Bobby asked.

“Meaning...I’d like to...but I can’t.”

“You lying sack of…”

Crowley held up a hand, “Ten years, you come to daddy.” He started moving closer to Bobby, “Until then, I suggest you start drinking the good stuff.”

“I figured you’d say that,” Bobby let out a strained chuckle. “So you can rot here ‘til you change your mind.”

“Why? Cause you asked nicely?”

Bobby shook his head and walked past Crowley to the wall near me. “Cause I’m going Dateline on your ass.” He turned off the light and there was a devil’s trap painted on the floor in glowing paint.”

“I hope that’s paint. Really.” Crowley sighed, “What am I going to do?”

Bobby started to walk toward the kitchen and Crowley whistled. Suddenly, I knew that Juliet was in the room with us, I felt her fur underneath my hand. I dug my fingers into her fur as she started growling. She was in her invisible form, but I could tell it was her and not another hellhound.

She moved away from me and Bobby grimaced as she breathed in his face. Crowley laughed, “Doggie breath. Bracing, isn’t it?” Bobby turned to look at Crowley, “Ball’s in your court, Robert. Ten years of living, or ten years as Alpo.”

Bobby walked over to Crowley with a knife, as he knelt on the floor and scratched a mark in the trap he said angrily, “This ain’t over.”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way. Happy hunting,” Crowley grabbed my hand and poofed me back to the apartment. “Well, that was interesting.”

I pulled away and crossed my arms, “What was that? Who was that?”

“That, poppet, was Bobby Singer,” he said it like I should know the name. When my face did not flash recognition, he sighed, “Bobby Singer is basically the Winchester’s adopted father. He does everything for them.”

“And you took his soul? I thought that Dean and Sam would kill you if you messed with their family.” I reached up and cupped the side of his face, “I just don’t want to see you hurt, Crowley. You’re my only friend. You’re my family.”

“Well, I’ll give Bobby back his soul eventually. I always keep my bargains,” he grinned. “I just want to make sure they don’t kill me. Bobby has ten years. I’m sure he’ll figure out something by then.”

“Okay,” I shrugged and took another bite of my cake. “I’m not judging you, Crowley. You’re the King of Hell. You’ll do what needs to be done. Now, let’s eat this cake and then watch a movie.”

June 2012

Crowley popped into my kitchen, grabbed me, and poofed us both back to his mansion. He looked so depressed, “I’m so sorry, poppet.”

“What’s wrong, Crowley?” I walked over to him and grabbed his head in my hands, “You’re scaring me.”

“I have to take your soul next month,” he ripped away from me and went to his scotch, drinking straight from the bottle. “I don’t want to. You’ve become like a daughter to me, I don’t think I can hurt you that way.”

I fell onto the couch and closed my eyes, “Damn, I had forgotten all about that.”

“I didn’t, I never have. I had just thought there would be a loophole in your contract somewhere, getting me out of having to take your soul.”

My eyes opened and what I saw just about broke my heart. Crowley looked so down, more than he had ever been before. I leaned forward, “Crowley, you wrote the contract. There has to be something we can do to work around it. Is there any way I can join you without having my soul ripped from me.”

“I just don’t know what we can…” Suddenly, his eyes opened wide and he gasped, “I have an idea. What if you join me? Become like my right-hand man...right-hand woman. I could say that because you aren’t a demon, it gives you an advantage. You wouldn’t be able to be caught in devil’s traps, for one.”

“Do you think that would work?” I sat down next to him, “Truly, do you think that the other demons would buy that? I know what happens when people lose their soul. They get tortured until they are broken and become demons.”

Crowley grabbed my hand, “It will work, poppet. It has to. We will just have to work on upping your scary factor. Get someone to teach you to kick some ass, get you a fancy weapon.” He stood and started pacing, “This will work, I can feel it.”

“Maybe we should make me your assistant, I think that will probably be a better idea than trying to make me into a badass.”

“You’re right. Assistant it is.” He smiled and pulled me up, twirling me about the room, “You’ll have to live with me though. So we’ll have to get your stuff out of that tiny little apartment.”

“Of course, Crowley.” I kissed his cheek, “Now, can you take me home so I can finish getting ready for work. Apparently, I need to put in my two weeks notice if I’m going to become your personal assistant.”

July 2012

I was fully moved into Crowley’s mansion, into a bedroom that he had turned into a little girl’s dream room. It had a canopy bed, pink bedding, and a vanity table that looked like it might be an original from the Elizabethan era. I was lying on my bed when Crowley came into the room.

“It’s time, love.” He looked apprehensive about what we were going to do, “I hope this works.”

“I’m sure it will, Crowley,” I got up and gave him a tight hug. “Do I really have to kill one of them?”

He pulled back and handed me a knife, “I ‘borrowed’ this from the Winchester brothers.” When I glared at him, he added, “I’ll give it back. I just wanted to make sure that the demon you kill can’t come back to hurt you.”

I took the knife and twisted it in my hand. Its handle was made of antler, the blade had engravings along the edge. I ran my finger along the edge, hissing as it cut into me. I stuck my thumb into my mouth and sucked on it a bit, “Well, it’s certainly sharp.”

“Be careful with that. It may be sharp, but it’s also killed many demons.”

“Fine, let’s go get this done.”

I followed Crowley into his office, where five men and one woman stood. Their eyes all flashed black when they saw me. Every demon knew about Crowley’s ‘pet’ human, and the fact that my ten years were up was not a surprise to anyone. When Crowley cleared his throat, they looked to him instead of glaring at me.

“It’s come to my attention that one of you is sowing discontent,” Crowley’s voice was low and dangerous. The demons looked at one another, fear evident in their eyes. “I don’t like it when my minions are trying to undermine me.”

He looked at one of the men and crooked his finger, “Come here.” The demon looked reluctant but did as he said. When Crowley pointed to the floor, the demon got down on his knees, “Now, I like to think that I’m a good king, a fair king.” He grabbed the demon by the hair, yanking back his head, “But I’m in charge here, not you. If I change my mind about how to deal with a soul, that is my prerogative.”

“Sir,” the female demon spoke up, her voice quiet.

“What?” I could hear the anger in Crowley’s voice.

“It’s not that we don’t believe you have the right to do what you please. We’re just worried that it makes you look weak like you let this piece of human trash get under your skin.” As she said that, Crowley’s eyes flashed red and I wanted to go over and place a hand on his shoulder. I didn’t though because I knew that she was partially right. I had gotten under his skin, which was the reason that he was trying to get around taking my soul.

“Are you questioning my loyalty?” he growled.

“Never, sir.” She shook her head and took a step back, “I’m sorry, sir. I don’t mean to make you mad, I’m just trying to explain where we’re coming from.”

It was now or never. I took a step forward, letting the other demons see the knife. I tried to make my voice sound scary, “I may be a human, but I bet given half the chance I could star in your nightmares.” The demons looked at me like I was nuts. I walked over to the female, bringing the knife up and trailing the end down her cheek. A thin ribbon of blood trickled down her face, “I may not be a soulless demon like you, but I do what needs to be done.”

I walked away from her and over to the demon Crowley was holding by the hair. His eyes looked at me questioningly and I just nodded. I stood so I was facing the other demons, wanting them to see my eyes. I gripped the demon's hair and pulled so his neck was exposed, “I’m going to be the one that deals with your punishments from now on. Me. Not some other demon. The puny little human that you think can’t hack it.” I put the knife against his throat and slashed it open, not looking at the blood pumped out of his neck.

The demon made a gurgling noise and went limp, so I released his hair, letting him fall to the ground. I held up the knife, now covered in blood, “Anyone else want to mess with me?” They all shook their heads, “Good. I’m going to do more with my soul still in my body then you clowns have ever done without one.” I took the blade, wiping the blood off on my jeans, “Tell everyone you know. There is a new boogeyman in town.”

Crowley opened the door and the demons rushed out. Once the door was shut again, he looked at me in awe, “I didn’t expect that, poppet. Damn, I didn’t realize that my poppet had claws.”

“I’ve been practicing.” I handed him the knife before collapsing onto the couch in his office, “Do you think they bought it?”

“Fucking hell, I bought it.” He grinned, “That was bloody brilliant.”

“Good, I really like my soul where it is.”

“You know,” his spoke cautiously, “you’re going to have to follow through now that you’ve set the precedent. Are you going to be able to be ruthless when need be, poppet?”

“I would do anything to keep my soul, Crowley. If that means hurting demons, well I won’t cry for them.” I glared at him, “But I won’t hurt innocents. That’s where I draw the line. Assholes, abusers, child molesters, rapists, murderers...I will do whatever you want. But when it comes to those that don’t deserve it, I will not hurt them.”

“Don’t worry, poppet. I don’t want the light to disappear from your eyes, and I know that would kill something inside of you.” He sat down next to me and put his arm around my shoulders, “I promise that I will never make you do something like that.”

“Thanks, Crowley.”


	5. Chapter 5

October 2012

Banging on my bedroom door woke me up. It was almost noon, but we had been up until one AM the night prior, disciplining an errant demon. “Just come in already,” I yelled.

Crowley opened the door and Juliet in her dog form jumped onto the bed, licking my face before laying down next to me. “Poppet, how would you like to go to an auction with me?” he sounded so excited, I couldn’t help but smile with him. “They’re auctioning off rare artifacts, one of which is a tablet. The word of God.”

“Sure, should I get dressed up for this?” I climbed off the bed and went over to the closet. Opening it, I pushed through the fancy items that Crowley had been pushing on me since I moved in with him. I pulled out a short black dress with a plunging neckline, “What about this?”

“Poppet, if I come in with you on my arm in that dress, everyone will be looking at you instead of the auction.”

“Good. Maybe that will make it cheaper for you if the others are staring at my tits instead of paying attention while you bid.” I took off my clothes and laughed at his raised eyebrows, “Don’t give me that look, Crowley. I’m almost twenty-eight years old. You are several hundred years old. You’re more like my father than anything else. I love you dearly, but don’t even pretend like you haven’t seen thousands of naked women.”

“Poppet,” his voice came out low and even.

“Don’t poppet me.” I put the dress over my head and grabbed a pair of black heels out of the closet, putting them on. As I put my hair up in a bun, I chuckled, “Don’t give me those puppy dog eyes, Crowley. Now, should we go to the auction?”

Crowley grabbed my hand, “Let’s go.” He poofed us to the outside of a warehouse and took my arm, looping it with his, “Remember poppet, there will be dangerous men inside.” We went into the warehouse after Crowley showed his invitation. Once we went through a metal detector, he took my arm again, “I don’t want you to get hurt. So, if you need saving inside, just give me the signal.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll yell really loudly.”

Crowley laughed and let go of my arm, “I have to go talk to a guy about the tablet. If you see anything you like, let me know.”

I walked over to the area with the display cases and saw two familiar figures standing in front of a case. As I neared, I heard Dean say, “Great.”

The young Asian guy with him standing next to what looked like his mother, spoke in an irritated loud whisper, “I guess we’re not as original as we thought.”

I stepped behind them and looked into the case, seeing a stone slab covered on each side by a piece of metal. They hadn’t noticed me yet and Sam sighed, “It’s okay. It’s okay. We just got to come up with plan B.”

Crowley stepped behind me, putting a hand on my waist, “And what, pray tell, could possibly have been plan A? Bring the Prophet to the most dangerous place on Earth, memorize the tablet and then vamoose? Hello, boys.”

All four of them turned around and saw Crowley and me standing there. Dean’s eyes automatically went to my cleavage and he licked his lips. I felt my face flush as we stood there, staring at each other. I had run into Dean and Sam several times over the years. Every time, Dean’s gazes got bolder and longer. Crowley liked to laugh about it, but Dean was the only guy that had ever gotten under my skin. I didn’t date and I didn’t have crushes, other than Dean of course. I have had a few one night stands, but they never did anything for me. It was just a way for me to say that I wasn’t a virgin.

He was looking at me like he wanted to take me to a back room and make me scream, in a purely sexual way of course. I shot him a soft smile, “Hi, Dean.”

“Arabella,” his deep voice came out harsh. He looked at me longingly before turning to my companion, “Crowley.”

Crowley looked at Dean before turning to the Asian kid, “Kevin. What a pleasure to see you. Sorry about your little playdate. Her name? Ah. Well, if you’re going to make an omelet, sometimes you have to break some spines.” He turned to the woman I was pretty sure was Kevin’s mother, “And who is this lovely young thing? Must be your sister.”

The woman slapped him hard across the face and Crowley reached up to touch where she had hit, “Ah!”

The woman glared at him, “Stay away from my son.”

“Charming. Defiling her corpse has just made number one on my to-do list.” Crowley laughed when Dean took a step toward him and Sam stopped him, “Unh, unh, unh, unh. Don’t mind a little love tap, but anything more, and our mookie pals here may just throw you out, and that would be a shame.”

I pulled Crowley back and whispered, “What’s this about breaking spines? You know I don’t like it when you kill innocents for no good reason, Crowley.”

“Poppet, not in front of the Winchesters. We can argue about this later.” 

He started to turn back to them and I grabbed his arm, “No, Crowley, now. You kept me human for a reason. If you didn’t want me to be upset when you hurt people who don’t deserve it, you should have taken my soul and let them make me into a demon.”

I was getting really upset and my voice increased in volume as I yelled at him. When I looked to the side, I saw Dean looking at me with appreciation in his eyes. He seemed impressed that I was putting Crowley in his place. Crowley looked down at the ground before looking back up at me, his face stoic, “I’ve got other things to deal with right now, Arabella. This is not one of them.”

He walked away from me and I stood there, a stupid look on my face. Crowley had never called me Arabella. He almost always called me poppet, occasionally calling me Bella. I could feel a tear roll down my cheek. Crowley had never hurt me before, not even accidentally. A hand pressed against my back and I turned to see Dean standing there.

He had a pitying expression on his face, “Sucks being Crowley’s pet human, doesn’t it?”

“Excuse me,” I yanked myself away from him. “Pet human? Is that what you think of me?” My tears dried the angrier I got, “I am not his ‘pet,’ Dean Winchester. You can just go fuck yourself.”

Dean held up his hands, “Jeez, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. It’s just, we’ve heard stories that Crowley had decided to make you his pet. It’s not our fault that demons are bastards and spread shit like that around.”

“You’re right. It’s not your fault that demons are bastards. However, you don’t have to believe every rumor you hear.” I poked him in the chest hard, “Otherwise, I would think that you were in love with your angel. What’s his name again? Oh, that’s right, Castiel. I’ve heard a rumor that you two are attached at the hip. What, couldn’t bring him to this shindig?”

Dean’s eyes narrowed and he growled before shaking his head, “I deserved that. And no, Cas and I aren’t a ‘thing.’ We’ve only ever been friends, that’s all. Right now he’s...you don’t need to know where he is. I don’t need more ammunition for Crowley to use against me”

“And I’m friends with Crowley.” I looked over to where Crowley was laughing with someone, “Except for the fact that I want to throat punch him right now.”

“Look, can we start again?” Dean sounded sincere so I nodded, “I’m sorry I’m such an asshole.”

“I forgive you.” Crowley beckoned to me, “I’ve got to go.” Before I left, I placed a hand on his shoulder, “You’re a good guy deep down, Dean Winchester. I think part of the reason I’m still human is that Crowley respects you and Sam. You showed him what it’s like to be human, and he hasn’t been human in over 300 years. You helped him realize that it’s okay to be vulnerable sometimes.”

Dean took a step closer to me until he was inches away. I could feel my insides fluttering from him standing so close. His hand raised and he tucked a lock of hair behind my ear. Voice soft, he said, “I’m pretty sure that was all your doing, Arabella. You are a beautiful, wonderous woman. Any man would be lucky to have you by his side. Crowley is a lucky man.”

I closed the distance, leaving only the smallest sliver of room between us. “First, call me Bella, please. I never did like my full name. Second, I’m not with Crowley, not in that way. He’s more like my father than anything else.” I stood on my toes and kissed Dean’s cheek, “You should go back to Sam and Kevin. They look like they’re going to have a stroke or something. I am, after all, the King of Hell’s right hand. Even if I am just a human.”

He gave me a questioning look and I chuckled, “What? You didn’t hear the story about why Crowley borrowed the knife from you?” I looked over at Crowley and saw him glaring at me, “Next time we run into each other, I’ll tell you about it. Suffice to say, the demons are more scared of me than they are of you.” I blew him a kiss and walked away.

“You’re playing with fire, poppet,” Crowley said as I drew closer to him.

“Whatever do you mean, your highness?” I said with as much sarcasm as I could muster.

“Okay, I deserved that,” he sighed and pulled me off to the side. “I know you hate what I do sometimes, but poppet, I’m not a nice man. I’m the King of Hell, you know that. It’s not like I’ve ever kept it a secret, the things I have to do.”

“I know, Crowley. I just hate it when…”

“I hurt those you think of as innocent. Yes, I know.” He cupped my cheek with his palm, “You’re the only one who gets to see this side of me, poppet. Everyone else gets to deal with the bastard that runs Hell. I try my best to keep you from knowing about the things I have to do, but sometimes you are going to see that part of me. I just hope you don’t hate me for it.”

“I could never hate you, Crowley. Not even a little bit.”

We were all sitting down as a man stood on the podium, waiting for everyone to settle down. He auctioned off several items before coming to the one that we were all waiting for. It was wheeled out and the man looked at it, “Our next lot, the word of God.” He picked it up, “Captial G...very old, very rare.”

Crowley stood up from the seat next to me, “Three billion dollars.” I just looked at him, mouth agape. I didn’t realize he had that much money socked away. I saw Sam and Dean look at him with the same expression.

Samandriel, an angel wearing the meatsuit of a fast food worker, stood, “The Mona Lisa.”

Crowley chuckled, “The real Mona Lisa, where’s she’s topless.”

“Vatican City.”

“Alaska.”

The auctioneer scoffed, “Palin and a bridge to nowhere? No, thanks.”

“All right. The moon.”

I tugged on Crowley’s sleeve, “You own the moon?”

At the same time, Dean said, “You’re bidding the moon?”

“Yeah. Claimed it for Hell. Think a man named Buzz gets to go into space without making a deal?”

The auctioneer smiled, “Ah. I'm sorry, gentlemen. It seems that our reserve price has not been met. So in order to stimulate the bidding, we're going to add an item to this lot.” He pointed at Kevin, “Kevin Tran, Prophet of the Lord.” 

Kevin disappeared out of his and reappeared on stage in chains. His mother stood and yelled, “No!!”

“Mr. Tran is the only person on Earth who can read this tablet, which makes them a perfect matching set.”

“No, stop! I'll give you whatever you want. I have a 401(K), my house.” I could tell that Kevin’s mother was desperate, but she was way out of her league with what she was offering.

The auctioneer laughed, “Good effort, Ms. Tran, but I'm afraid this is a little out of your price range.”

She stood up a little bit straighter, “My soul.”

Kevin yelled from the stage, “Mom, don’t!”

“I bid my soul!” she said it louder.

“If it’s souls your after, I can give you a million souls,” Crowley said smugly.

I heard Dean say, “Hey, flyboy, are you gonna get in on this?”

“We guard the souls in Heaven. We don't horse-trade them.” Samandriel sounded very put off.

“So we have a deal,” Crowley sounded like he was gloating.

The bigger guy next to the auctioneer narrowed his eyes, “It's not about the quantity, chief. It's about the sacrifice. This little lady's soul is the most valuable thing she has. It's everything. Are you willing to offer everything, Mr. Crowley?”

“Fine. You win. I bid...my own soul.”

The man laughed, “Mr. Crowley, you don't have a soul.” He turned to Kevin’s mom, “Congrats, sweetheart.”

I just sat there as Crowley left the room in a huff. I watched as Dean, Sam, and Kevin’s mom talked. I couldn’t hear what they were saying, but they looked really upset. Dean saw me watching and came over to me, sitting down in the seat that Crowley had vacated. He just looked down at his hands.

I put a hand on his forearm, “You couldn’t have won any other way, Dean.”

“I know,” he twisted his fingers together. “This war, I sometimes wonder if it will ever win.” He looked into my eyes, “How can you stand to be around him? Crowley is an evil bastard.”

I closed my eyes and counted to ten. Once I knew I wouldn’t punch him, I opened them again, “I know what Crowley is, and what he has done. But he is not all bad. Do you know why I have my soul still? It’s because Crowley has a heart. It may be tiny, near microscopic, but those he cares about are well taken care of. I’m sorry that Kevin’s mom has to be the one to pay the price.”

He started to say something, but I put a finger on his lips, “Crowley is kind to me. He is the only one I’ve ever met who acknowledged my existence. I know that he is the King of Hell, and I know that he’s trying to get the tablet from you guys. I’m not taking sides in this…”

“You are literally taking sides by being with him.” He looked at me askance, “You are a human. Why are you siding with the demons?”

“He’s my friend.” I shook my head, “No, he is family. You sold your soul, endured torment in hell, for your family. Why is it so weird to think that there might be someone who cares about what happens to him?”

“Dean,” Sam called for his brother.

“Hold on, Sammy,” Dean looked at his brother, before looking back at me with an unreadable expression on his face. “How do you know what I went through in hell?”

My face flushed, “I…”

His eyes narrowed, “Wait a minute, you were there. I remember…”

I stood up so he wouldn’t say anything else. Taking a piece of paper out of my purse, I wrote down my cellphone number and handed it to him, “Look, Dean. I know how lonely life can be. That’s why I have Crowley in my life. I can’t promise to fix anything, or to even make him leave you alone, but if you ever need to talk just give me a call.” I looked over at Sam who was giving me the evil eye, “Your family needs you now.”

As he stood to leave, I pressed a kiss to his cheek. He gave me a tight smile, “I’ll be seeing you.”

I hurried out of the room, and out of the warehouse. Not wanting to see what happened next. I couldn’t stop my feelings for Dean, but I also didn’t want to betray Crowley. I felt like I was stuck between a rock and a hard place, with nowhere to go.

Fifteen minutes passed and Crowley exited the warehouse in a hurry, the word of God in his hands, “Crowley, what did you do?”

“Nevermind that poppet,” he grabbed my hand. “We’ve got to go.”

Once we were back at the mansion, I pulled away and crossed my arms. “Crowley,” my voice was low and even. “What did you do?”

“I didn’t kill anyone.” I raised my eyebrows and he held up a hand, “I swear. Your boy is safe and sound.”

“Fine.” I sighed, “I’m going to my room.”

As I turned to go, he grabbed my arm, “You’re not mad at me, are you, poppet?”

“No, Crowley, I’m just tired.” I gave him a quick hug before turning to leave. A tear rolled down my cheek, but my voice stayed even, “I’m just tired of feeling like the villain because I’m with you. I’m tired of not knowing if I’m on the side of good or evil by being here. You don’t have to worry, I’m not leaving, I just need a little bit of space.”

He didn’t say anything as I left the room. Once I was out of his office, I ran to my bedroom, shutting and locking the door. I threw myself onto the bed and let the tears come that I had been holding in. I loved Crowley, he was more like a father to me than my actual father, but I never thought it would hurt so much to be around him. Before July, we saw each other often, but it was almost always situations that didn’t involve his day job. Once I passed the point where I supposed to lose my soul, I didn’t have a choice, I had to be around him and the demons all the time. It was just tiring, being human in a world like this.


	6. Chapter 6

December 2012

It was almost Christmas and I was sitting in my media room, Juliet’s head on my lap. My phone dinged.

**_??: Long time no talk, Bella._ **

**ME: Who’s this?**

**_??: Dean Winchester. Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten me already._ **

**ME: I just rolled my eyes at you.**

**_DEAN: Come on, I’m adorable._ **

I found myself laughing for the first time since the auction. Then again, Dean always had a way of sneaking past the walls I built.

**ME: I don’t know if adorable is the right word.**

**_DEAN: Sexy, debonair, gorgeous, handsome. I could probably come up with more._ **

**ME: Arrogant, pigheaded, stubborn, obstinate. I definitely could come up with more.**

**_DEAN: Touche. You win this round._ **

**_DEAN: So, how are you doing?_ **

**ME: Shouldn’t I be asking you that. You guys got the tablet taken away, I know you needed it for something. There was also a rumor that your friend Benny was in trouble.**

**_DEAN: Can we just not talk about work stuff. Can’t we just pretend like we are teenagers again, texting our crushes about how much we like them?_ **

**ME: Are you saying that you have a crush on me, Dean Winchester.**

**_DEAN: And if I am?_ **

**ME: I would say…**

I paused, not sure if should tell him or not. When my phone dinged, my face flushed. It was a picture of Dean, his lower lip stuck out like he was pouting.

**_DEAN: Come on, sweetheart. Don’t leave me hanging._ **

**ME: I would say that I have a crush on you too, Dean Winchester. Even if you are just a puny human.**

**_DEAN: I’ll have you know that I’m not puny...anywhere ;)_ **

**ME: Oh god, I so didn’t need that visual.**

**_DEAN: Better get used to it, sweetheart. If this goes where I think it will, you’ll see me all eventually._ **

**ME: Just no unasked for dick pics, please.**

**_DEAN: No worries, Bella. I only send nudes when requested._ **

**_DEAN: So, does Crowley ever let you have free time?_ **

**ME: Are you asking me out?**

**_DEAN: Maybe. But only if father Crowley lets you._ **

**ME: Crowley doesn’t control me. Not really. If I want to go out with you, I will.**

**_DEAN: Do you want to go out with me?_ **

**ME: Well, since you asked so nicely…**

**ME: I would love to go out with you.**

**ME: Let me go talk to Crowley.**

I stuck my phone in my pocket and left the room, smiling as Juliet bumped into my leg. Once I was outside of Crowley’s office, I stopped when I heard him talking. I thought he said Moose, so I leaned against the door, trying to hear what he was saying.

“Moose, just hear me out,” Crowley sounded exasperated. “I know that you have no reason to listen to me. Just let me explain what I want.”

“No, you can’t have the tablet. That’s not why I’m calling.”

“If you don’t want to help out a fellow human, then I guess you guys aren’t as good as I thought you were.”

“I know I’m not human, that’s not who I’m talking about. Bloody hell, do I really have to spell it out for you.”

“Yes, this is about Arabella.”

I stepped away from the door as tears sprung to my eyes. Why was Crowley talking to the Winchester boys about me? I leaned forward again, “What do you want me to say, Moose? I love her like she were my daughter. I don’t want to see her hurt.”

“No, there isn’t anything coming that I know of.”

“Ever since the auction…”

“Yes, I know. You guys are still angry at me for that.”

“Be angry, I don’t care. We’re talking about Bella here, not about you and your feelings of hatred toward me.”

“Much better. Now, as I was saying, I love Bella. I just don’t think this is a good place for her anymore. I’m worried about the state of her soul.”

“I don’t know what to do, that’s why I’m calling you.”

My phone dinged and I cursed silently, “I’ll call you back, Moose.” I sighed, knowing what was coming. “Poppet, come on in.”

I pushed open the door to his office, “Crowley, what’s going on? Why are you talking to Sam about me?”

“I know how hard this is for you, Bella. I was trying to come up with a solution where you didn’t have to be around this…” he waved his hand in the air, “anymore.”

“I don’t want to leave you, Crowley.” I sat down on the couch, “You are my family.”

“I know, poppet. I know.” He stood up from his desk and came to sit next to me, “Look, we don’t have to make any decisions now. Just think about it, okay? Maybe we can figure out a way for you to reenter civilized society.”

“Your demons won’t like that.”

“Screw them.”

“Seriously, Crowley,” I gave him a look. “Do you really think that life works like that? I know for a fact that you know better. If I were to just leave, you would look foolish. You already have to deal with the fact that you didn’t take my soul. You don’t need to deal with me running away too.”

“Poppet,” he tried to make his voice soothing. “We can make this work. We just have to think about what we’re going to do.”

“Well, you figure it out then.” I stood and started to walk away. Turning to look at him, I tried not to cry, “I know I’m not the easiest person to be around sometimes, but I never thought you would try to get rid of me.”

“Arabella,” Crowley growled as he stood, stalking over to me. He grabbed my shoulders in his hands, “I don’t want to get rid of you. But do you know what it does to me that being around me hurts you? I have things that I need to be able to do in order to maintain power. But when I do them, you get this look in your eyes. The light slowly being killed inside you. All I want is for you to be happy.”

I took a breath, “Okay.” I pulled out my phone and saw that I had a missed text from Dean, “So, Dean asked me out on a date.”

“Really?” he took a step back and gave me a coy grin. “When is the last time you went on a date?”

“Crowley…” my gaze lowered to the floor. “You know I’ve never been on a date.”

“Well, Dean Winchester is a good looking bloke, you have my blessing. Just make sure you use protection.”

“Crowley!”

“Poppet, I just want you to be happy. You tell me when your date is, and I will make sure you get it.”

“Thanks, Crowley,” I kissed his cheek and headed back to my bedroom. My phone had dinged several times while I was talking with Crowley. I saw that I had several missed texts from Dean, and from an unknown number. I looked at the messages from Dean first.

**_DEAN: How’d the talk with Crowley go?_ **

**_DEAN: Why is Crowley calling Sammy? Do you have any ideas?_ **

**_DEAN: Oh shit, Sammy is pissed._ **

**_DEAN: Sweetheart, I’m here for you if you need to talk._ **

**_DEAN: Don’t let Sammy fool you, Bella. He’s a gentle teddy bear._ **

**ME: I don’t know what’s going on. I’m thinking Crowley is trying to get rid of me.**

**_DEAN: Somehow I doubt that. He actually cares for you, which is weird enough on its own._ **

**ME: I know, but...something is just off. Maybe Sam knows something.**

**_DEAN: I’ll talk to him._ **

While he did that, I looked at the texts from the strange number.

**_??: This is Sam Winchester. I just had an interesting phone conversation with Crowley._ **

**_SAM: Do you know why he’s so worried about you?_ **

**_SAM: I’m here if you ever need to talk, one human to another._ **

**ME: Sam, I don’t know. I think he’s just worried because I am human, and everyone around me is a demon.**

**_SAM: Dean is here with me now._ **

My phone rang and I answered, “Hey Sam.”

His voice sounded distant, “Arabella, you’re on speaker. Dean is here with me.”

“Hey, sweetheart.”

I flushed, grateful they couldn’t see me, “So, I guess you guys want to talk about Crowley.”

“Look, Crowley is a demon,” Sam started. “And before you yell at me, you know I’m right.”

“I wasn’t going to argue.”

“Good. Well, he doesn’t have a soul. But he can see that you’re hurting.”

“Sweetheart, I saw how you reacted at the auction. I know for a fact that you’re hurting,” Dean was calm. “It must be hard being a human in that world.”

“No as hard as you would think.” I smiled even though they couldn’t see me, “Did you guys hear about how I saved my soul?”

They spoke at the same time, “No.”

“Well, it was back in July when you misplaced the knife. Crowley borrowed it so we could convince the demons that I was just as badass without losing my soul. It was his idea that if I caused panic amongst the demons, they wouldn’t say anything about me keeping my soul.” I sighed, “Let’s just say that I’m not proud of what I did, but it was necessary. I said some things, did some things, that I wouldn’t normally say. Things that scared even me.”

“You did what you had to,” Sam said.

“Maybe, maybe not. But it doesn’t matter because I did them.” I sighed again, “I just don’t know what Crowley is thinking. I wish I knew what he wanted me to do.”

“We’ll figure it out, Bella,” Sam’s voice was calming. “Let’s just not jump to conclusions. Now, Dean is giving me a look, so I’m going to take you off of speaker and let you talk to him.”

“Thanks, Sam.”

It took a few seconds, but Dean came on, “Hey, sweetheart.”

“Dean,” my voice was warm as I smiled.

“So, did you talk to Crowley about our date? I know you probably talked about other things that were more important.” Dean’s words came out fast and jumbled, “But I really hope that you can go out with me. I like you, Bella, and I want to see where this will go.”

“Yes, Dean. I did bring it up to Crowley.” He whooped loud enough that I pulled the phone away from my ear, “He said that he would make sure I got to our date, wherever and whenever it was.”

“Fan-fucking-tastic.”

I laughed, “Just text me the details about where and when, and I’ll be there, with bells on.”

“Literal bells,” I could hear the smirk in his voice. “That could be kind of kinky.”

“Ooh, does Dean Winchester have a secret kinky side?”

“Maybe...maybe not. You’ll have to find out,” his voice was deep and husky. I hoped to hell that he was far enough away from Sam because I was fairly certain he was getting aroused. “I’ve got to go, sweetheart. I can’t wait for our date.”

“Me either, Dean. Me either.” We hung up and I flopped down on my bed. I couldn’t believe that I had a date with Dean Winchester, how did that even happen? I only hoped the reality was as good as my fantasy.


	7. Chapter 7

February 2013

“Are you sure you want to do this poppet?” Crowley lay on my bed, feet crossed at the ankles. “I can get you out of your date if you’ve changed your mind.”

“Crowley,” I growled. Shoving aside clothes in my closet, I tried to find what I was looking for. Dean was taking me out to a fancy dinner, and I wanted to look nice. Crowley had bought many items of clothing for me since we became friends, but I still wasn’t sure what to wear.

He climbed off the bed and pushed me out of the way. Reaching in, he grabbed a hanger and handed it to me. Red, silky, deep v-neck...it was the most expensive piece in my closet. I hadn’t gotten the opportunity to wear it yet, being as I rarely left the house, but it had still been sitting in my closet waiting for the right opportunity.

I took off my clothes and Crowley looked away, “Must you do that in front of me, poppet?”

“Don’t give me that, Crowley.” I slid the red dress over my head, not bothering with underwear as it would just show. It came to my knees with a slit to the thigh, “I think this might be a little much.”

“Nonsense, Dean will love it.” He waited until I had slipped on a pair of heels and put an arm around me, “I just want you to be happy poppet.” He poofed me to the restaurant I was meeting Dean, kissed my forehead and disappeared.

“Great,” I sighed. 

“Bella,” Dean’s deep voice brought a smile to my face and I turned to where it was coming from. He stood there, wearing a pair of jeans and a plaid shirt, a pained grin on his face. The shirt was soaked in blood, his hand pressed against his stomach.

“Oh my god, Dean,” I ran over to him. “What happened?”

“Am I late?” he grinned but stumbled a little when he tried to move.

“Where’s the Impala?” I put his arm over my shoulders, trying to hold him up. He nodded his head to the right. I grabbed the keys out of his pocket and we stumbled, slowly, over to the car.

“You can’t drive Baby.”

“Just get in the fucking car, Dean.” I opened the passenger door and put him the seat, “Where is Sam?” He didn’t respond so I looked at him and saw that he was passed out. “Goddammit.”

I dialed Sam, “Bella, what’s up? Did Dean make it for your date?”

“Where are you, Sam?” my voice broke as I tried to hide my terror. “Dean is hurt.”

“Fucking hell. I just saw him an hour ago.” He gave me the name of the hotel and the room number, “Hurry.”

I hung up and got into the car, driving it as fast as I dared. Dean fell against the door as I rounded a corner, but still didn’t wake up. When I pulled into the parking lot, Sam was standing there waiting for me. As I stopped, he opened the door and cursed.

“Sam,” my voice broke again.

“I’ve got him, Bella.” He lifted him out of the car like a baby, “But I’ll need you to open the door to the hotel room. Keys in my pocket.”

Inside the room, he dropped Dean on the bed and ripped open the plaid shirt. It looked like he had been shot, the bullet grazing the side of his torso. “Jesus,” I couldn't move from where I stood by the door. “What the fuck happened?”

“I don’t know,” Sam got off the bed and grabbed a bag out of the bathroom. When he came back, he reached in and grabbed a bottle and a cloth out of the bag. Dumping the liquid on the cloth, he pressed it against Dean’s wound.

Dean sat up in bed, yelling, “Fucking hell.” He fell back onto the bed, “Sammy, what happened? How did I get here?” He tried to sit back up, but Sam held him down, “I gotta go, Sammy. I’m supposed to meet Bella.”

“Dean,” I said softly. His gaze turned to me and I walked over to the bed, sitting down next to him so I could hold his hand, “You showed up, we just don’t know what happened to you.”

His eyes closed as Sam pressed the cloth against his wound again, hissing through his teeth, “Shit, sweetheart. I don’t know what happened either.” His fingers dug into my palm as Sam started stitching the wound, “You look fucking fantastic by the way.”

I leaned over to Sam, “Shouldn’t we call Castiel?”

Sam nodded, “Grab Dean’s phone. Cas is busy, but he should answer.”

I did as he said, dialing Cas’s number. When he picked up, I didn’t give him time to say anything, “Cas, I know you don’t know me but…”

“Arabella, I know who are.” His deep gravelly voice was soothing, “You have Dean’s phone.”

“Dean needs you, he’s hurt.”

The phone hung up and the sound of wings alerted me to another presence. I looked behind me and saw Castiel standing there in his trenchcoat. He walked over to where Dean lay on the bed, “Hello, Dean.”

“Cas, what are you doing here?”

“You needed me.” He laid a hand on Dean’s wound and it started to glow, “I will always come when you need me. No matter what.”

Dean hissed as Cas healed his wound. When Cas’s hand moved away, the blood was still there but his cut was gone. “Cas,” his voice was pained.

“I know, Dean.” He laid his hand on Dean’s forehead, “Me too.” He pulled away and disappeared.

Dean sat up, “I still don’t know what happened.”

Sam gave him a hug, “I’m gonna leave you with Bella. Try not to get hurt while I’m gone.”

“Yeah, fuck you too.” Dean hugged him back tightly, “Bitch.”

“Jerk.”

When Sam was gone, I pulled Dean into my arms. “God, Dean. I was so scared. Our first date and you had to go and get yourself shot.” I felt myself start to cry and Dean rubbed my back, “Is this what it’s like? Will I be worried about you for the rest of my life?”

“Sweetheart…”

I pulled away and stood, starting to pace, “Do you know when you first met me, Dean?” My words came out fast and high as I struggled not to cry, “It was Christmas 2002. I had only sold my soul to Crowley six months prior, and he was busy on Christmas day so he sent me Juliet.”

“Juliet?” recognition flared in his eyes. “Oh my god, that giant dog…”

“She’s a hellhound.” I stopped and looked at Dean as he remembered that night. My arms crossed over my chest, “That was just the first time I saw you. We were both so young. I was eighteen, you were…”

“Twenty-four.” He climbed off the bed and moved over to me, pulling me into his arms, “I can’t believe I didn’t recognize you right away.”

“Well, I grew up a lot before the next time you saw me.” I laid my head against his shoulder, letting myself relax in his arms, “I was there when the demon came and told Crowley that you had sold your soul. I visited you in hell.”

He pulled away, an angry look on his face, “You were there?”

“I wanted to see what Crowley did. I came across your room on accident.” The anger on his face made me want to cry so I turned away, “I sent the demon that was whipping you away for as long as I could, which wasn’t very long. But I gave you some water before the asshat came back.”

“You said something before you left. Something about finding a better way to torture me.” His voice sounded cold. Colder than I had ever heard him speak before.

“God, Dean. That’s what you remember?” I barked out a bitter laugh before turning back to him. I was angry now. I poked him in the chest, “I was trying to come up with a plausible explanation for why I was near you. The last words out of my mouth were ‘I’m sorry.’ There was nothing I could do for you, Dean.” Tears streamed down my face, “What do you expect from me? I’m human, Dean. I kept my soul, not becoming a soulless demon in service to Crowley. Back then, I hadn’t done the thing that made them afraid of me. Back then, all I had was Crowley as a friend, and Juliet, when she felt like listening to me. I still don’t have much. But at least I have my soul.”

I started walking toward the door, “Don’t worry, Dean. I won’t bother you again.”

He grabbed my arm tight, stopping me, “Bella. Please.” I didn’t turn around, “I’m sorry. Just… can you give me another chance? I know I can be a bastard. I’m too much like my father in that regard.” When I still didn’t turn, he let go of my arm and let out a big sigh. His voice was barely a whisper, “I’m sorry, Bella.”

I made it to the door before I stopped. Thoughts raced through my mind. Should I give him another chance? What would happen if he made me feel this way again? I laid my forehead on the door before releasing the doorknob. Turning around, I moved back over to him and lifted his face from where he stared at the ground, my heart breaking as I saw the tears that rolled down his cheeks.

I reached up and wiped those tears as they fell, “Dean.” I placed a kiss on his cheek, then on the tip of his nose, then finally placed a gentle kiss on his lips. “I care about you. A lot. But I can’t just be another notch on your bedpost.”

“That’s not what I want from you,” he kissed me gently but thoroughly, pulling me against his body. “I’m sorry. I just… you live with Crowley, it makes it hard for me to know if I can trust you.”

“I will never hurt you on purpose, Dean. I can’t promise to never hurt you, no one can make that promise.” I kissed him then backed up a few inches, “But I also can’t promise to be completely on your side. I’m Crowley’s right hand. That comes with responsibilities. I have to act a certain way in order to keep the demons in line. I don’t get to just be a normal twenty-eight year old.”

“I don’t care,” he pulled me against him, hands on my ass. He kissed me and picked me up, forcing me to wrap my legs around his waist. “I want you, Bella. I want you in my bed and in my life. I’ll take whatever I can get from you.”

Dropping me on the bed, he pushed the plaid off his shoulders and looked down at me. “Jesus, you’re beautiful.” He took off his boots and crawled toward me on the bed, jeans still on. He pushed my legs apart enough that he could kneel between them and get into position above me.

Leaning down, he kissed me as his right hand snaked up my thigh, pulling my dress up as he went. He sat up and pushed my dress the rest of the way up, before pulling it over my head and throwing it on the ground. His gaze traveled down my naked body, smiling when he saw that I wasn’t wearing any underwear.

He laid on top of me, pressing his hard jean covered cock against me. Grinding his hips, he chuckled when I moaned, “Fuck, Bella.”

I pulled him so his weight was fully on me, holding me down on the mattress. My fingers threaded through his hair and I pulled his head down to mine so I could kiss him hard and deep. I moaned as he pressed against me harder, “Fuck me, Dean.”

He stopped and lifted off me, hands going to his pants, “Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

It took him seconds and he was naked on top of me, cock at my entrance. He gripped his shaft with one hand and slowly inserted it into me. I moaned as he filled me completely. He was thicker than any of my one night stands had been and just long enough that if he thrust in too deep he would hit my cervix.

He started off slowly, thrusting in and out of me until I was so wet that he could just glide in and out without any issue. I wrapped my legs around his hips and pulled him against me hard, “Just fuck me, Dean. I want you to take me, hard and fast.”

“Alright, sweetheart.” He thrust into me hard, twice, “As you wish.”

He pounded in and out of me, hard and fast. His cock hit my cervix with every thrust, but the pain just made it more pleasurable. I started screaming his name as he fucked me, my pussy quivering around him. I was so close. When one of his hands went between my legs and started rubbing my clit, I came hard. He kept thrusting in me as my orgasm seemed to go on forever. Then he thrust in me one last time and came.

Pulling out of me, he fell on the bed next to me and turned on his side, running his fingers up and down my belly. I couldn’t help but smile at him, “Hi.”

“Hi,” he leaned over and pressed a soft kiss to my lips. “That was…”

“Yeah, I know.” I rolled over and wrapped my arm around his waist and yawned, “Let’s just lay here for a bit. Crowley isn’t expecting me back tonight, I told him that I wanted to spend time with you.”

“That dress was beautiful. I’m sorry you didn’t get to have the date you wanted.”

“Hey,” I pushed myself up so I was looking down at him, “I got exactly what I wanted. You. I don’t care what we do. I don’t need fancy dinners, expensive things, I just want you.”

He cupped my face with his hand, “God, I could really see myself falling for you.”

“Yeah, well, I’m already halfway there. I’ve had years of knowing you to see what kind of man you are, Dean Winchester. And I approve.” I laid against his chest, “Now, let’s sleep for a bit and then go again. Cause if I only get to see you one every month or so, I want every moment to count.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm having a hard time with this story. Sorry it's coming so slowly. I just had a plan up until the ten years were up, now I'm not sure where I want it to go. I'm still going to do my best to get at least one chapter out a week though, hopefully more.


	8. Chapter 8

March 2013

“Burgers, Dean?” I took a big bite of my bacon cheeseburger.

“What?” he spoke with his mouth full of food. A trait I had learned through texting Sam that he has had since he was a child. The only reason I didn’t call him out on it was there were worse things that he could do. Once he swallowed the bite, he grinned, “Second date rules. Second dates are always burgers and milkshakes. This way, I can see if you eat real food or not.”

I glared at him, “You’re lucky you’re cute.”

“I’m adorable.” He gave me his signature Dean Winchester cocky grin. “Come on, chicks dig me.”

I took my next bite and chewed slowly. Putting the burger down, I pushed the plate away and stood so I could sit next to Dean on his side of the booth. I laid my hand on his thigh, digging my fingers in slightly. Not to hurt, but I knew that Dean liked a little bit of dom in his bed partners. His eyes dilated and I smiled, “Chicks may dig you, Dean, but I’m the only one allowed to touch.”

“Sweetheart, you’re the only one I want touching me.”

“Good,” I ran my hand further up his thighs to the junction between his legs and pressed my palm against his erection.

His eyes darted around the restaurant as I unzipped his pants and pulled his hard cock out of his pants, “What are you doing?”

“Shh, wouldn’t want anyone to get suspicious.” I laid a napkin over his lap as I started stroking him, up and down. “You know, I’ve always wanted to do this. Try something out in a more public environment.” I licked my lips as he hissed, “But I never thought I would be doing it to you.”

I started stroking faster, smiling evilly as the waitress came back over. “Can I get you guys anything else?” Dean had his eyes closed and his jaw was tight, I could tell that he was close. I just kept stroking him, wanting to see if I could make him come with the waitress there.

“We’ll take two slices of apple pie.” I looked over at Dean, “That sound good to you, honey?”

He opened his eyes and I could tell he was close to his limit, so I slowed my strokes, giving him a break. He gave me a grateful smile, “Sounds perfect.” He looked at the waitress, giving her a winning smile that so many women fell for, “Maybe you can bring us a chocolate milkshake to share as well?”

“Coming right up.”

When she left, I whispered in his ear as I started stroking faster and harder, “God, I love when you make these noises.” He whimpered softly through gritted teeth. “Come for me, Dean. I want to have you fall apart for me.”

His hands fisted as he groaned, coming hard. When he came down from his high, he glared at me, “Really, Bella?”

“Hey, you liked it.” I wiped him up with the clean part of the napkin and tucked him back into his pants, zipping him up as the waitress came back and put down our pies and milkshake. When she left, I placed a soft kiss on his cheek, “Thank you for not pushing me away. I was afraid you…”

“Hey,” he ran his fingers down my face, “I enjoyed it. I just didn't expect it, that’s all.” He gave me a cocky grin, “But next time, it’s your turn.”

“You’re on.”

April 2013

“Did you do what I asked?” Dean grabbed a blanket and a basket out of the back of Baby.

I felt my face flush, “Seriously, Dean?” He gave me a look, “Yes, I’m not wearing underwear. Happy?” I smoothed my skirt over my hips, feeling slightly self-conscious.

“Baby girl,” he placed the items down on the closed trunk lid and came over to me, grabbing my shoulders. “If this makes you uncomfortable…”

I looked up at him and grinned, “A little. But I’m still down if you are.” I looked around the park, seeing so many people running around, having fun. “I just thought it would be a little less...crowded.”

Dean laughed, grabbed the blanket and basket, and started heading towards a fairly empty part of the park. As he set up the blanket, I looked around and saw that there were a few other couples with the same idea as us. Well, maybe not the exact same idea, but they were sitting on blankets with picnic baskets. Luckily, the closest pair was fifty feet away from us.

He sat down and patted the blanket next to him. Grinning, I sat down next to him, trying to not flash any unsuspecting passersby. He laughed at me, “I have a present for you.”

“Ooh, I didn’t realize date three required gifts.”

“Oh, sweetheart, this isn’t that kind of gift.” His face turned red, “I, uh, went to a toy store. I had a really hard time hiding this from Sammy, I want you to know.”

I felt myself flush as well, but I still grinned, “What did you get me?” The basket was pushed my way and I peered in, seeing a hunk of purple plastic, “Really, a dildo?”

If possible, he turned even brighter red. “Not exactly.”

Realization dawned, “Oh my god, you didn’t.”

“Yeah, I did,” he scratched the back of his neck. “It was really hard to hide that from Sammy. I’m just glad I have my own room at the bunker. Creating a replica of my dick is not something I ever would have thought to do. But I wanted you to have a piece of me when I can’t be with you.”

“Why is it purple?”

He laughed, finally looking less embarrassed, “I couldn’t make it flesh colored, that would just be too weird. I don’t think I would be able to hold something that looked like my dismembered dick.”

“Jesus, that’s a little morbid.” I pressed a gentle kiss to his lips, slipping my tongue into his mouth as I deepened it, “You can do whatever you want to me, Dean. I trust you.”

“You know what I’ve been told. You should never trust anyone,” he slipped a hand slowly up my thigh, tracing patterns on my skin.

When his fingers touched my already wet pussy, I moaned, “Well, I trust you.” I looked directly into his eyes, “Implicitly.” He slipped a finger inside me and I moaned again, “I know you, Dean. I know what you’ve done, how you’ve saved the world more than once.” He slipped in another finger, “You would never do anything to intentionally harm anyone. That’s why I trust you.”

He kept slowly thrusting his fingers in and out of me until I was open and ready. “I wish I could be in you right now.” He reached into the basket and brought out the purple cock, quickly putting it under my skirt so no one would see it. When he slipped the tip inside my pussy, I moaned and spread my legs further apart, giving him more access, “This will have to do for now. Don’t want to get arrested for public indecency.”

His bicep bulged as he moved the cock in and out of my pussy, so slowly he kept me on edge. A few people glanced our way, but their eyes didn’t linger. Still, I couldn’t help but imagine them all watching us, watching him fuck me.

“Baby girl,” his voice was hoarse. “I want to make you scream for all these people. I want them to see you fall apart for me. Can you do that for me?”

“Dean,” I pulled his head down and kissed him hard. “Make me come.”

He started pushing the purple cock in and out of me, faster and harder. The wet sounds coming from between my legs were positively vulgar, making me moan louder. One of my hands went to cover my mouth and Dean grabbed it, pulling it away, “Don’t make me restrain you, baby girl. I want to hear your screams.”

“God, Dean,” I could help but make little mewling noises deep in my throat. “Yes, just like that.” His thrusts grew harder, pressing the entire length into me, hitting my cervix with every thrust. I dug my fingers into his other arm, “I’m so close.”

He lowered his head to my ear, biting the lobe, “You look so beautiful, baby girl. All these people, they’re here just for you.”

“Oh my god, almost. So close.” He reached under my skirt with his other hand so he could massage my clit. I grabbed his hand through the fabric so I could press him harder against me, “Just like that. Dean.” I moaned as he thrust the cock hard into me which set off my orgasm.

When he knew I was about to come, he captured my lips with his, stopping my scream from escaping. He kissed me softly as I came down from the orgasm, pulling the purple cock out of me. I moaned as the hardness disappeared from inside me.

I watched as he tossed it back into the picnic basket. I fell back onto the blanket and started laughing, harder than I had laughed in a really long time. Dean looked at me like I was crazy, but he reached into the basket and brought out a cloth, slipping in under the skirt to clean me up. I couldn’t stop laughing, “I can’t believe… we just did that.”

“Sweetheart, we’ve got years ahead of us to do that and more.” He laid down next to me. We both looked up at the sky, hands intertwined, “Have I told you how happy you make me?”

“Not today.” I rolled over and kissed him, “You make me happy too.”


	9. Chapter 9

May 2013

“Where is he, Dean?” my voice broke and for once, I was glad that he had missed our date.

“I can’t, Bella,” he sounded apologetic, but I couldn’t see his face so I wasn’t sure.

“I trusted you,” tears poured down my cheeks, but I kept my voice as calm as I could. “He’s the only family I have, Dean. What have you guys done with him?”

“I’m sorry, sweetheart.”

“No, you don’t get to sweetheart me right now, Dean Winchester. You took Crowley. I don’t know what for, but if you hurt him…”

“We’re not going to hurt him, Bella, we’re going to cure him.”

“Cure him?” I laughed, “What makes you think he needs to be cured?”

“He’s a demon, sweet… Bella.”

“Yeah, and you’re an asshole. To think, I was falling in…” I shook my head, “You know what, I’ve got an empire to run since you’ve taken the King of Hell. I have to deal with Abaddon because of you. I hope you’re happy.”

I hung up the phone and laid my head on my arms, trying not to cry. Juliet’s head appeared on my lap as I started to cry. What was I going to do without him? I wasn’t even sure if I mean Crowley or Dean at this point. My heart broke for the man who took me in, and the man who took him away from me.

“Arabella,” I looked up and saw Abaddon standing there, looking smug. “You cannot think to lead Hell. You are merely human. You cannot think to…”

Juliet bounded in front of her, growling and blocking her path to me, “I may be only human, but I have friends, Abaddon. You had better remember that.” I stood and walked up to Juliet, putting my hand on her head. She sat but still growled deep in her throat, “Crowley will return. And when he does, the throne will be waiting for him. Now leave my sight before I do something you will regret.”

Abaddon smiled at me and bowed, mockingly, “Whatever you say… Arabella.” She turned to leave, “Just remember, you are weak and fragile. You would do best to remember that little fact.”

June 2013

My phone rang and I saw Sam’s name. I had been ignoring every call and text from Dean, and there had been quite a few of them. The phone stopped ringing, then started right back up again. I knew this could go on for hours, so I answered, “What do you want?”

“Bella,” Dean’s voice came from the phone and I had to choke back a sob. “Please don’t hang up.”

“Where’s Crowley? What did you do to him?”

“He’s still a demon if that’s what you’re asking.”

“Thank god,” I sighed. “That still doesn’t tell me where he is.” 

From the background, I could hear a voice yelling, “Is that poppet? Let me talk to her.”

“Let me talk to him, Dean. You owe me that much,” my voice came out harsher than I meant it to. But I couldn’t bring myself to care, “You made me trust you. Don’t make me hate you too.”

“Poppet, is that you?”

“Crowley,” I started crying. “Where are you?”

“I’m at the…” the phone must have been pulled away from him because I could hear yelling in the background. “I’m sorry, poppet, I can’t tell you. Squirrel here will use the colt on me if I tell.” His voice lowered, “Are you okay? How are you holding up?”

“I barely have a handle on things, Crowley. Abaddon is trying to take over. I’m managing to hold her off for now, but I’m not strong enough.”

“Bella,” he listened to me cry. “Arabella, I need you to listen.” At the sound of my full name, I stopped crying, “There is a weapon in my safe, the combo is 51-24-33. It will hold her off for now. It won’t stop her, but it will make you stronger.” He sighed, “I’m sorry, poppet.”

“There, are you happy?” Dean sounded weary. “You got to talk to him. He’s alive and well. We’re just… holding him for now.”

“Dean,” the anger evident in my voice, I stood from where I was sitting and started pacing. “You have a chance to do the right thing. Give Crowley back to me.”

“I can’t do that, Bella.”

“Let me speak to her again,” Crowley said. His voice became stronger when the phone was given back to him, “You can’t blame Dean for this, poppet. He’s just doing what he needs to in order to survive.”

“Crowley…”

“No, Bella, listen. Dean cares about you, more than I ever thought the meathead could care for someone.” I heard Dean cursing in the background, “Just don’t give up on him completely, poppet. I’m fine. Eventually, Moose and Squirrel will release me. When they do, I’ll be back. I know he hurt you, but he lo…”

“Bella,” Dean sounded guarded.

“Dean,” my voice broke. “You have to know that I care about you.”

“I…”

“No, don’t say it. Please,” a tear rolled down my cheek. “I just need some time. Just think about giving Crowley back, please.” I hung up the phone.

I walked over to the Monet hanging on the wall and pulled it, revealing the safe behind it. I input the code, laughing bitterly when I realized what it added up to… 6-6-6. Of course, that would be the King of Hell’s safe combination. The safe opened, I looked inside. There were a few books that I recognized as the ledgers Crowley kept the records of the souls being acquired, as well as a few gold bars. Who knew why he had those. It’s not like he needed the money.

The last thing in the safe was a jewelry box. This couldn’t possibly be the weapon that Crowley had been talking about. I opened it and saw a necklace. A silver chain held a pendant on it. A dark blue, almost black stone, that looked like it held the night sky was wrapped in silver wire. What was I supposed to do with this?

I put the necklace on and felt something stirring inside me. Anger that I thought I didn’t possess seemed to emanate from within me. I walked over to the mirror and looked at myself. My eyes were glowing red like Crowley’s did when he got mad.

The door opened and Abaddon entered. I could feel myself seething with anger. “Abby, so good to see you,” I walked over to her, my hand balling into a fist. Once I got close enough, I punched her as hard as I could in the mouth. Her head snapped back.

She turned her face to look at me and spit blood onto the ground, “I see you found the stone of Charon.” She took a step away from me, “Be sure to not take that off, Bella. You have made an enemy today. You might have the stone to protect you, but the second you remove it I will be there to rip your heart out.” 

She left the room and I fell to the floor, my adrenaline gone. “What the fuck was that?”

September 2013

**_DEAN: How are you?_ **

**ME: I’ve been better.**

**_DEAN: I’m sorry._ **

**ME: I don’t want you to be sorry, Dean. I just want him back.**

**_DEAN: I can’t, not yet._ **

**ME: Then neither can I, not yet.**

**_DEAN: I wish I could see you. I miss you._ **

**ME: I miss you too. But feelings aren’t enough, not right now.**

**_DEAN: One day soon, Bella, I’m going to tell you how I feel. I just hope that when I do, you don’t hate me._ **

The door to the office pushed open and a demon entered. He stopped and dropped to a knee, “Arabella, I have news of Crowley.”

I stood and walked over to him. He looked to the ground and I sighed, already tired of them fearing me. But I knew it was necessary in order to maintain power, “Tell me.”

“The Winchester’s have him.”

“I know,” I threw back my head and screamed in rage. I backhanded the demon, sending him flying across the room. “When I sent you out to get information, I didn’t want you to tell me what I already know.” I glared as he pulled himself off the ground, “Do not come back until you have something more to tell me that ‘the Winchester’s have him.’”

The demon fled the room and I fell to the floor, pounded my fists against the plush carpet and screamed. The rage dissipated as I pounded my hands on the floor. I started to sob and Juliet came over to me, lying on the ground. I fell on top of her, crying into her fur. 

January 2014

**_DEAN: Crowley is free._ **

**ME: What?**

My phone rang, Dean’s name on the screen, “What do you mean, he’s free?” I could feel the rage from the stone bubbling up inside me.

“I mean, he helped us and we let him go. The last we saw, he was with Abaddon.”

“I’m…”

“Don’t, Bella.” I could hear the pain in his voice, “I never wanted to hurt you. But we had to try and close the gates of Hell. I know you can understand that.”

The door opened to the office and Crowley walked in. “Crowley?” I looked up at him from where I sat on the couch. I got up and walked over to him slowly, “Is it really you?”

He pulled me into his arms, “I’m here, poppet.” The phone fell to the ground as I hugged him. He pushed me away gently, “You need to take the necklace off, poppet.”

“I can’t. Abaddon…”

He reached up and unclasped the necklace. Instantly, I felt the rage leave me, replaced by a deep feeling of loss. “Poppet,” he pulled me into his arms again, rubbing my back as I cried.

“Bella,” I heard shouting coming from my phone, but I couldn’t summon the will to pick it up.

Crowley did, “Dean, she’ll have to call you back.” He paused, “I promise, she will.” He hung up the phone and held me until my tears were all gone. Then he led me over to the couch and sat down, placing me next to him, “You need to forgive Dean, poppet.”

“I don’t know…”

“Look at me,” he lifted my chin so I stared into his eyes. “I have forgiven Dean and Sam for what they did. What they thought they had to do. If the King of Hell can do that, then so can you. He lov…” Crowley closed his eyes, took a deep breath, then opened them again, “You both need each other. I won’t always be here. I need to know that if I am ever… deposed, I need to know that you will be alright.”

“I don’t know if I can Crowley.” I rubbed at my eyes, “I fell for him. I trusted him.”

“You haven’t seen him in nine months, poppet. I have spent more time with him than you have. I know exactly how he is feeling because I have seen the pain on his face.” He put his arm around me, “Forgive him, poppet. Tell him how you feel.”

“Are you sure?”

“There are many things in life that I am unsure of, poppet? The fact that you and Dean Winchester are meant for one another is not one of them.”

I took my phone from him and stood, “Okay.” I headed toward the door, then turned back, “I love you, Crowley.”

He smiled, “And I, you, poppet. Now go call Dean. I’m here if you need me to take you to him.”

I headed into my bedroom and sat down on the bed, turning the phone in my hands, trying to work up the nerve to call him. Taking a breath, I dialed the number and waited. Dean answered, “Bella.” He sounded scared.

“I… I want to forgive you, Dean. I don’t know if I can right away, but I want to try.”

“Really?” his voice was so hopeful it made me smile.

“Yes.” I gulped, “I need to see you.”


	10. Chapter 10

February 2014

I put on my jeans and a t-shirt before heading toward the office. This was the first chance Dean and I both had time free to meet. We had been trying ever since Crowley came back, but things kept coming up. I pushed open the door and walked in on Crowley injecting something into his arm.

“Crowley,” my voice held a question.

“Poppet,” he gave me a huge smile. “What can I do for you?”

“Can you take me to Dean?”

His smile fell, “Why do you want to visit him?”

“You’re the one who told me to give him another chance,” I was really confused. His mood seemed to shift from day to day ever since Sam and Dean released him. “I’m just trying to do that.”

“Ahh, yes,” he waved his hand. “Let’s go then.”

He poofed me to the middle of a field, kissed my forehead, then disappeared again. I looked around and didn’t see anything. “Fuck,” I picked up my phone and called Dean. “Dean, Crowley just poofed me to the middle of nowhere. I think something’s wrong with him. Can you send Cas to pick me up?”

“Sure, just hold on.”

Seconds later, I heard wings and Cas appeared before me, “Arabella, good to see you again.”

“Cas, please, call me Bella.” I smiled and held my hand out, “Shall we.”

He took my hand and transferred us both inside a concrete room. I looked around, seeing bookshelves lining the walls as well as several feet into the room as well. A few long tables were in the center of the room, Sam and Dean sat at one of them. When Dean saw me, a huge smile crossed his face and he stood up.

He hurried over to me and pulled me into his arms, pressing his face into my neck, “God, I missed you so much, Bella.”

“Dean,” I brought his head up so I could kiss him. “I missed you too.”

“Uhh, we’re just gonna go,” Sam said awkwardly before him and Cas left the room.

“We should probably talk, Dean.” He just held me against his body, breathing in the scent of my hair. “Dean,” I ran my hands up and down his back.

“Sweet… Bella, I’ve missed you.” I could hear the tears in his voice.

I pulled back and lifted his face, wiping the tears from his cheeks, “You can call me sweetheart again if you want to, Dean. It’s still going to take me a bit to fully forgive you, but Crowley said that he forgave you and that’s good enough for me. Besides, I believe you promised me a confession.”

“God, sweetheart.” He grabbed my hands and kissed my palms, left then right, “As much as I want to have that conversation, we can’t do it here. Let’s go to my room.”

Grabbing my hand, he pulled me along down several hallways, then through a door. When we entered his bedroom he shut the door. He stood there, hands in his pockets as I looked around. Weapons lined the walls, a large bed dominating the room. I sat down on the edge of the bed and patted the space next to me.

Instead, he walked over and crouched in front of me. He pushed up his sleeves and I saw a scar on his arm. I reached for it and he pulled his sleeves down, covering it. Instead of pushing him, I just smiled at him, cupping his face with my palm, “I can’t believe we missed nine months together.”

He dropped his head to my lap and I ran my fingers through his hair. “Sweetheart, I hated having to hurt you that way.” He lifted his head up, “I’m so sorry for what we did. We had to try and close the gates of hell. It was about saving the world, or I would have never hurt you that way. Please tell me that you believe me.”

“I do.”

“God,” a tear rolled down his cheek. “I agonized for months. When you were angry at me, I didn’t know what I was going to do.”

“I’m here now, Dean. I’m not going anywhere.”

“Sammy has always told me that I’m a little emotionally constipated. And he’s been right. At least, until I met you.” He kissed my hand, “You broke me out of the shell I was living in. I’ve become a different man since meeting you. All these feelings that I have inside, I’ve never felt like this.”

He reached up and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, “I feel more for you… I love you, Bella. I love you so fucking much, it kills me that I have the ability to hurt you so much. I know it’s too soon, we only went on three dates, but…”

“We’ve known each other much longer than that, Dean.” I couldn’t help but smile at him, “I’ve had you on my mind since Christmas night 2002. Then when I saw you in Hell, then the auction, and all those other times we ran into each other. Every time I saw you, I fell more and more for you. I had already fallen completely in love with you by the end of our first date. When you guys took Crowley…” I let out a soft sob, “I thought my heart was breaking in two. It hurt so much, but Crowley told me not to be too mad at you. I tried so hard to not be mad at you.”

“Then he came back, and I was mad all over again. Normally, I wouldn’t have been so angry with you. But the fact that I loved you made the betrayal that much worse.” He dropped his eyes, looking like I had just kicked him, “Please, Dean, look at me.” Tears rolled down my cheeks and he looked back up, a look of fear in his eyes, “I love you. I love you so fucking much. It kills me that I have the ability to hurt you.”

The look in his eyes changed and he laughed, a true look of happiness on his face, “Using my words against me, are you?”

“Dean, I love you.” I stood and pulled him up, kissing him deeply. “I. Love. You. Only you.” I laid a hand on his arm, “Now, what is this new scar on your arm?”

His eyes darkened as he pulled away, “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Dean,” I used my best mom voice on him. “Secrets are not healthy in a relationship.”

“Not now,” he leaned down and kissed me. “I’ll tell you later. Right now, I haven’t had sex in nine months. I haven’t even been able to enjoy getting myself off.”

I lifted the shirt over my head and stepped out of the jeans. I turned and placed my hands on the bed, looking over my shoulder, “Well? You think you’re the only one who’s been waiting, Dean?”

He unbuttoned his pants, pushing them down just enough to free his cock. He walked behind me and ran the head up and down my slit, “Jesus, you’re wet.” He slid into me, filling me to the hilt in one thrust, “Fuck, baby girl.”

“Fuck me, Dean. Take me hard and fast.”

“If you ask nicely,” he moved in and out of me slowly.

“Please, Dean. Please fuck me. Please use me.” I thrust back against him, “Remind me of how big you are.”

“As you wish, baby girl.” He started to thrust in and out of me, fast and hard, his fingers gripping my hips tightly. I was definitely going to have bruises tomorrow, but it just turned me on more. Every time he thrust in, I pushed back. It didn’t take much, a few thrusts and I was coming continuously as he continued to pound in and out of me. He started to come but kept thrusting into me, even after he had finished. His still hard cock twitched inside me and he groaned. After a few more thrusts, he slowed and then pulled out of me.

I just looked over my shoulder at him, enjoying the look on his face as he stared at my leaking pussy. He looked so happy with himself, I didn’t want to take away that happiness. Picking up a shirt off the ground, he wiped himself first and then ran in between my legs, cleaning me up.

I tried to move, but my legs were like jelly so Dean lifted me up and pulled me into his arm, pressing a kiss to the top of my head, “I love you.”

“I love you too.” I pulled away and started putting my clothes back on, “So, about the…”

“Fuck,” he sounded angry. “Why do you have to ask about that?”

“Dean,” I placed a hand on his arm. “What’s wrong?”

He sighed, “I don’t want you to get mad at me.”

“I won’t get mad unless you don’t tell me.” I took a deep breath, then retracted my statement, “You know what, I love you no matter what. If you really don’t want to tell me, you don’t have to.”

“No, you should know.” He sat on the bed and I did as well. He pushed up his sleeve, showing me the mark, “This is the mark of Cain. With this and the First Blade, if Crowley ever finds it for me, I can kill Abaddon.”

“The mark of Cain?” I was so confused.

“It’s a curse, sweetheart.” I grabbed his hand in mine, holding onto it tightly, “But it will let me wield the First Blade’s power. It’s the only way that Abaddon can be killed. I wouldn’t have taken this on if there were any other way, I swear to you.”

“But Abaddon was scared of me when I wore the necklace.”

“Necklace?” his eyebrows came together in confusion. “If you were wearing something that she seemed frightened of, I doubt she was truly scared. She probably just didn’t want to deal with it right then. She’s a knight of hell, sweetheart.”

“So what does this mean for us, Dean?” I was starting to get scared.

“I still want to be with you, but you can’t be near me too much.” His voice broke, “Cain told me… he told me that I would kill all those I love.” He turned and grabbed my face with his hands, “I can’t kill you. It would destroy me. I’m already quicker to anger because of the mark, I’m terrified of what I would do if I lose control.”

I laid my hands over his, “We’ll figure this out.” I kissed him, “I love you, Dean Winchester. For better or worse. I do not believe that you would ever truly hurt me.”

“Do you know how awesome it is to finally be able to tell you I love you? To hold you in my arms again?” He pulled me against him, “I never want to lose you.”

“You won’t.” I hugged him even tighter, “So, does this count as our one year anniversary?”


	11. Chapter 11

May 2014

I stood against the wall as Crowley stood in front of a table full of demons. The necklace had been put away for safekeeping, and to be honest, I was thankful. The person that it turned me into was not someone I ever wanted to be again. Even if it did make the demons obey me. Instead, I channeled that woman that I became when I was wearing it, trying to keep them from finding out I couldn’t follow through.

Dean and I were back to talking on a relatively regular basis, seeing each other once a month. His anger came in waves, but I was usually able to draw him out of it with sex. Even in his darkest hour, he didn’t hurt me. Taking his anger out on inanimate objects was more his style.

Crowley was standing at the head of the table, his hands on the end, “So, here's the thing, boys and girls. We have a crisis. Admittedly, a crisis of my own making. In my extended absence, where I handled sensitive matters of state, Abaddon made inroads into my following, creating chaos. So I look to you, my trusted advisors, to restore confidence, to soothe those jangled nerves. Spread the word... the king is back, and the kingdom is once again on sound footing. So, all those with me, say ‘yo!’”

None of the demons said anything., When the door opened, Abaddon walked through and I moved further away, trying to stay out of her sight. She chuckled, “Yo. I mean, I'm literally with you, not with you with you.”

Turning back to the demons at the table, Crowley scowled, “You betrayed me? No one in the history of torture's been tortured with torture like the torture you'll be tortured with.”

I had to snort back a laugh at the horrible phrase that I’m pretty sure Crowley thought it would be terrifying. Abaddon raised her eyebrows at him before turning to the table, “Relax, everyone. You did the new queen a solid. You are sitting at the popular kids' table. Now, Crowley, let's talk turkey. I know you helped the Winchesters get their hands on the First Blade, yes? And I'm hearing that one of them also has the mark of Cain... all bad news, since the Blade is the one thing that can bring about my…”

“Utter destruction,” Crowley’s Scottish brogue came out.

“To be indelicate. But here's the thing, pet… same goes for you. And once I'm gone, who do you think's next on those cute boys' list? That's right. So let's get real. Join me in taking out the Winchesters and that ridiculous Blade, and then we'll deal with each other.”

“To be clear... I'll not be joining you ever. Except at your death scene, where I shall burst into song. Goodbye. You have no hold over me.” He turned away from her.

She smiled, more evil than I had ever seen before, “Oh, no?” She snapped her fingers and a young man dressed like he was straight out of a Renaissance Faire poofed into existence, “Gavin, honey, say hello to daddy.”

“You have a son?” I couldn’t keep quiet anymore. 

“Poppet, not now.”

I laughed and walked past the table, watching as the demons snuck out of the room. I went to Gavin and stuck out my hand. He looked at me like I was crazy, so I grabbed his hand in mine and shook it, “So nice to meet Crowley’s son. Didn’t even know he had one.”

“Poppet,” Crowley growled. “Can you go, please? I need to have a discussion with Abaddon.”

“Sure thing,” I glared at Abaddon. “Be nice to Crowley Abby. Don’t forget, you may be a knight of Hell, but I’d be willing to bet I’m a bigger bitch than you.”

I left the room and went to my bedroom, sure Crowley would tell me what the hell was going on later. I dialed Dean. He answered, sounding irritated when he barked at me, “What?”

“Sorry, didn’t mean to catch you at a bad time,” I tried to speak softly and soothing. Knowing the mark made him angrier than normal.

He sighed, “Sorry, sweetheart. We’re just tor… talking to someone about Metatron.”

“Torture, Dean, really?” I chuckled, “I’ll let you get back to it. I just wanted to remind you that I love you.”

“I love you too, baby girl,” I could hear the smile through the phone and I felt relieved. “Shut it, Sammy.”

“Go back to your brother, Dean. I’ll talk to you later.”

 

From my bedroom, I could hear Crowley talking, “Hello, Dean. Love the crazy bloodlust in your eyes. Let's not waste time. I'll take you to Abaddon. It's not far.”

Goddammit, what was Crowley doing? I opened the door and peered out, seeing Dean with a blade that looked like a jawbone in his hand. Fuck, he had the First Blade. This couldn’t be good. I could sense the rage radiating from him. I snuck out of the room, following them from a distance. I had to know what was going on.

The went into what Crowley like to call the Great Room, a large space that served as a formal living room some days, a work meeting place on others. I stood outside the door and watched as Crowley looked to the side and a demon came at Dean. He took the blade and jammed it through the demon’s stomach. 

As the demon fell, Dean was thrown against the wall. I had to cover my mouth with my hand to keep the gasp from being audible. Abaddon walked into view, her hand in the air, “A boy and his Blade. And still no match for the new queen.” She laughed, “So, first... You'll die... Painfully. And then Crowley will watch his son die and then the king himself. And Blade destroyed.”

Dean glared at her, the mark glowing as he struggled to free himself, “That’s quite a to-do list.”

Even as she was holding him on the wall, he struggled. He managed to get off the wall and walk toward her, struggling. By the shocked look on her face, she didn’t expect him to be able to move. She thrust her hand forward again and he fell back to the wall again, dropping the First Blade.

Pulling a Jedi trick, he held out his hand toward the blade and it started to move on the floor, inching closer to him. When it flew into Dean’s hand and he fell down off the wall, Sam burst into the room from the other entrance. Abaddon tried to thrust him back again, but when nothing happened Dean laughed. The sound that came out of his mouth was dark and evil, nothing like the man I loved.

He stalked over to her and shoved the blade into her stomach, lifting her off the ground. She screamed as red energy burst through her body, killing her. Abaddon’s body fell to the floor and Dean kneeled above her, shoving the blade into her, again and again.

Sam ran up to him, yelling, “Dean. Dean! Dean! Stop! You can stop.”

He just kept stabbing her body. I could feel tears rolling down my cheeks as I went into the room. I fell on my knees beside Dean, reaching out my hand to touch his shoulder. He stopped stabbing Abaddon and raised the blade as if to stab me. When his eyes hit mine, it was almost as if Dean wasn’t in there anymore.

I reached up to his face and he pulled away. I could keep the pain from my voice, “Dean, please. I love you. Come back to me.”

The blade fell from his hands and he looked at his blood covered hands in shock. I wrapped my arms around him, crying onto his shoulder as he sat there in shock. Crowley and Sam were talking, but I wasn’t paying attention, just trying to calm both Dean and myself down.

Finally, Dean turned to me and wrapped his arms around my back, “Oh god, what did I do?”

“You killed Abaddon, Dean.” I pulled back and kissed him softly, “You didn’t hurt anyone else.” 

“You owe me. Do I get no credit for warning you this was a trap?” Crowley’s voice rose, indignation lacing his words. All three of us turned to look at him. “‘Poughkeepsie’ ring a bell? I sense drama.”

We all stood up and I pulled Dean into a hug, “I’m sensing you guys need to talk about things without me getting in the way.” I cupped his face with my hands, forcing him to look at me, “I love you, Dean Winchester. It doesn’t matter what you do, I love you. You don’t scare me. If a hellhound and a knight of Hell don’t inspire fear in me, the man that I love won’t either.” I kissed him and turned to leave, “Be nice to him, Crowley. You may be like a father to me, but if I have to choose, you won’t like what happens.”

June 2014

A knock at my bedroom door had me confused. The only person who visited me in my room was Crowley, and he didn’t knock. The demons avoided me and it’s not like I had any human friends. I opened the door and saw Dean standing outside the door, a hand on each side of the doorframe. He stared down at me, a cocky grin on his face. I looked at what he was wearing, a pair of dark skinny jeans and a tight v-neck grey shirt. Every muscle of his torso was on prominent display.

My eyebrows raised as I looked at him, “Dean. Crowley let you in.”

“Of course he did, kitten.” He pushed into the room, shut the door and locked it. When he turned back to me, I swear his eyes flashed black for a second. But when his green eyes looked at me, I quickly dismissed it as a shadow, “Why wouldn’t he let me come visit my best girl?”

Dean stalked toward me and I backed up, bumping into the bed. He moved in front of me, putting an arm on each side of me, effectively pinning me in place without touching me, “You smell divine, kitten.” He lowered his face to my neck and sniffed, then licked my skin, “And you taste even better.”

“God, Dean, what’s gotten into you?”

He pulled back and then flipped me around, laying me over the edge of the bed. When his hand cracked down on my ass, I gasped. His hand rubbed the spot he had just slapped and then he did it to the other side. I tried to push myself up and he grabbed my arms, pulled them behind my back and held them in place with one hand. His other went between my legs and rubbed my pussy through my leggings.

“Fuck,” I moaned. “I didn’t know this side of you existed.”

He slapped my ass again, harder this time, “Oh, kitten. You ain’t seen nothin’ yet.” He yanked down my leggings and underwear below my ass so his he could thrust two fingers into my wet pussy. 

His fingers curled inside me and rubbed against my g-spot. I struggled against him, trying to get him to release my arms, but he just tightened his hand. “God, Dean.” I moaned, “Fuck, I’m going to…” I started to scream as I came. 

When he released me, I pushed myself up and rubbed my wrists. I could see red marks on them, and I knew there would be bruises. I stood and turned to look at him, he still looked smug and cocky. Reaching up, I tried to cup his face with my hand but he grabbed my forearm, stopping me, “Dean, what’s going on?”

He pulled my arm down until my hand touched his hard cock, “I want your mouth, kitten.” He put his hands on my shoulders and pushed me down. As he unzipped his pants, I stared up at him, “I’m going to fuck your mouth, kitten.” He gripped my chin tight and I opened my mouth, “I’m going to fuck your mouth hard and fast.”

When he released my chin, I kept my mouth open. I wasn’t sure what was going on with him, but that didn’t change how horny he made me. His hard cock jutted out from his hips making my mouth water. I leaned forward and slid my lips over the head of his cock, sucking lightly as I ran my tongue over the tip.

Taking my hair in his hands, he pulled my hair hard, pulling me off his cock. “Oh, kitten, that’s not what I want.”

I ran my hands up his legs to his hips, pulling him closer to my mouth again. But he was stronger than me and I couldn’t budge him. So I looked up at him and batted my eyes. Taking a cue from the way he was treating me, I lowered my voice, “Oh, and what do you want? You said you want to fuck my mouth, why don’t you?”

He glared down at me and his eyes flashed black again. I gulped but still didn’t say anything about it. I was going to have to call Sam once Dean left. Instead, when he pulled on my hair a little harder I moaned, “God, maybe I should call you daddy.”

He groaned and I chuckled, “Oh, do you like that… daddy?”

He grabbed his cock in the hand that wasn’t holding my hair and placed it against my lips, “Kitten, you’re being a bad girl?”

Sticking my tongue out, I licked the head of his cock, “I want to be a good girl, daddy. Fuck my mouth, use me.”

As I opened my mouth he stuck his cock in and grabbed my head with both hands. Holding me in place, his hips started pistoning in and out of my mouth. He started off only inserting about half his length in me. I sucked every time he pulled out of my mouth.

When he growled and pulled himself out of me, I looked up at him again, “Done so soon, daddy?”

“Fuck,” he thrust himself back into my mouth, inserting his entire length in causing me to gag. “Kitten, I’m going to fuck your mouth until I come. I want you to swallow every drop.” I moaned around his cock and nodded as much as I could, “Good.”

He started moving in and out of me, giving me just enough time on every pull out that I could catch my breath. But then he looked down at me and grinned, right before shoving deep into my throat. As I gagged around his cock, he moaned. Then started moving in and out fast, hitting the back of my throat with every thrust. 

It didn’t take long. Between my gagging and sucking his cock, he thrust in a few times and then held me all the way down on his cock, coming into my throat. I swallowed as he pulled out of me. He still held my head in place, “So, were you a good girl, kitten?”

I opened my mouth and showed him that I had swallowed everything, “Yes, daddy.”

He pulled me up and against him, lowering his mouth to mine and kissed me deeply. “Good girl, kitten. Now I have to go. I’ll be seeing you.” He zipped himself back into his pants and then left.

I fell onto the bed sighing. What the fuck was that? Reaching over, I grabbed my phone and sent Sam a text message.

**ME: What the fuck is up with Dean? He just showed up at Crowley’s place. And I swear his eyes flashed black.**

**_SAM: I’m sorry, I should have warned you._ **

**ME: Warned me?**

**_SAM: Dean died. But one of the side effects of the blade is that the person cannot be killed. Crowley showed up with the blade and placed it in Dean’s hands, bringing him back to life. But the problem is, he came back as a demon._ **

**ME: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?**

**_SAM: He didn’t hurt you, did he?_ **

**ME: No. I’m just in shock. Crowley didn’t tell me.**

**ME: I’m going to kill him.**

**_SAM: Crowley?_ **

**ME: Yes. Actually, I’m going to kill him now.**

**_SAM: Send pictures._ **

I threw down the phone and got off the bed. When I left the room, my hands were balled into fists. My anger grew as I marched down to the office. I threw open the door and saw Crowley standing there, talking to a couple of demons in suits. They turned to look at me and Crowley waved his hand, dismissing them.

After they left the room, I walked over and slapped him as hard as I could. He reached up and moved his jaw from side to side, “Poppet?”

“What the fuck did you do to Dean?” I wanted to cry, but I held it down. “Why didn’t you tell me he was a demon?”

“It slipped my mind, poppet.” He went over to the bar and poured himself a drink, “Would you rather he were dead? Because without the blade, he would have stayed dead. Becoming a demon was just a side effect.”

“You should have warned me, Crowley.” I felt a tear roll down my cheek and I wiped it away, “I just saw him and…”

“Oh, poppet,” he put down the glass and pulled me into his arms. “I’m sorry. Did he hurt you?”

“No.” I pulled away, “He didn’t hurt me. But he’s a demon, Crowley. He could have. I should have realized something was different about him.” I walked to the door, “Give me some space. I’m mad at you.”

“But…”

“I know this was the only way to bring him back. That’s not why I’m mad.” He raised an eyebrow, “Okay, it’s a little bit why I’m mad. However, I’m mostly mad because you should have told me. You should have warned me that the man I love has become something… other.” I turned again, this time to hide the tears that fell, “I’ll let you know when I’m ready to forgive you. Until then, please let me have some space.”

“Of course, poppet.” He sighed, “I’m sorry.”

“Me too, Crowley. Me too.”


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm home sick from work. I get to use about 20 hours of vacation because I came down with a virus and am apparently contagious for a few days...sigh. The only good thing about that, I can get more writing done.

October 2014

“Bella,” Sam sounded awful.

“Oh my god, Sam, what is it?” Demon Dean had visited me several times over the past few months and I had let him do what he wanted to me, knowing deep down that he wouldn’t hurt me. But the pain in Sam’s voice, it was scaring me, “Is Dean hurt?”

“No!” he sounded surprised that I would ask. “I’m sorry. I probably should have called you a couple of days ago, but I thought for sure he would have called you first.”

I sighed, “Sam, just tell me what the hell is going on.”

“We cured him, Bella. Three days ago.” He took a deep breath, “He told me he was going to call you.”

I pulled the phone away from my face and yelled, “Goddamn mother fucker.” Sam was laughing as I put the phone back to my ear, “That bastard was just here a week ago, as a demon. I let him…” Sam sucked in a breath as I paused, “That doesn’t matter. I just don’t know why he wouldn’t tell me that he was back.”

“He hasn’t left his room since we finished. I thought for a while that he had you in there, but when I tried to get him for dinner he just threw something at me and slammed the door in my face.”

“How can I help?”

“Can you come here?” his voice was small and quiet.

“He didn’t call, maybe he doesn’t want me.” Even I knew that was flimsy reasoning.

“Bella…”

“Fine. If I got outside the gates, can Cas come to get me? I don’t want to deal with Crowley right now?”

“He’ll be right there.”

I hung up the phone and threw on a pair of leggings and a t-shirt, not bothering with underwear. I didn’t need to wear a bra, so what was the point. It’s not like they would be on long around Dean anyway. I stopped by Crowley’s office on the way out, poking my head in.

He was sitting there, reading a book, “Poppet.”

“I’m going out. Just wanted to let you know so you don’t expect me.”

“Poppet,” he grinned. “You’re almost 30 years old, you don’t need to tell me when you’re going out.”

“Nevertheless, I’m telling you.” I smiled, “See you in a couple of days.”

Outside the fence, Cas was waiting for me far enough away from the gate that the guards wouldn’t notice him. He gave me a tight smile, looking more tired than I had seen him in a while, “Bella, it is good to see you.”

I held out my hand and he took it, “Take me to Dean.”

We poofed inside the bunker and I gave Cas a quick hug, then gave one to Sam as well. I didn’t say anything just headed in the direction of Dean’s room. When I got there, I knocked. “Go away, Sammy,” Dean’s voice came out tired.

“Dean, let me in.” My hand went to the doorknob and I tried to open it, but it was locked. “Please, Dean.”

I heard footsteps and the lock clicked. When the door opened, I saw the black circles under his eyes and the scruff on his face. He looked terrible. I reached out but he back up out of my reach, “What are you doing here, Bella?”

My heart clenched at him using my name. Whenever we were together, he either called me sweetheart or baby girl. Even when he was a demon, he had a pet name for me, kitten. At least he didn’t call me Arabella, that would have meant something I didn’t want to think about. I felt a tear roll down my cheek, “Dean.”

He turned and sat down on the bed, head falling into his hands, “God, Bella, I can’t believe what I did to you.”

“What are you talking about Dean?” I crouched in front of him, running my fingers through his hair, “You didn’t do anything to me. It’s not your fault that you were a dem… It’s not your fault.”

He looked up and I saw the tears that threatened to spill, “I remember everything, Bella. Every second of my time as a demon. I couldn’t control myself. It’s like I was…”

“Possessed?” I wiped a tear as it fell. “Dean, the things we did together while you were a demon, they were strange, but once I knew it wasn’t really you… Look, did I or did I not come with what you did to me?” He gave me a weird look and I flushed, “I’ve always loved when you get a little dominating on me. Calling you daddy, well that was a little strange, but I can’t say that I didn’t enjoy being with you.”

“Did you like that better?” he looked away from me. “Did you prefer to be with… him over me?”

“Dean,” I pulled his face back to look at me and he closed his eyes. I sighed, “Will you please look at me? I want to see your gorgeous green eyes when I tell you this.”

“I don’t know if I can,” his voice was pained. “I’m scared, Bella.”

Blowing out a breath I didn’t realize I’d been holding, I stood. Taking off my shirt and leggings, I pushed him back until he was laying on the bed. I straddled his hips and ran my fingers up and down his chest. When I started to unbutton the plaid he was wearing, his hands reached up and grabbed my hips. His eyes opened and saw me, naked on top of him. “What are you doing, Bella?”

I continued unbuttoning his shirt until it was completely open and I could run my fingers up and down his bare flesh. “Dean, I need you to hear me when I say this. I love you. There is nothing… okay, almost nothing you could do to make me stop loving you. While I enjoyed being with you when you were a… demon, I prefer the real you. Do you know how much better it is to be with someone that you love?”

I grabbed his hands and dragged them up to my breasts, moaning when his thumbs grazed my nipples. My hips started moving against him and I could feel his burgeoning erection through his pants, “After that first time with you as a demon, I knew something was wrong. It wasn’t the same. It was good, don’t get me wrong.” I slowed my hips so I could unbuckle his belt. As I undid his pants, I continued, “If you ever want to take control of me like that, I won’t say no.”

“But Dean, I truly need you to listen to what I say.” I leaned forward until my face was right above his, “I want you. I love you. I will take you however I can get you, but I much prefer my Dean. The Dean that I fell in love with is perfect just the way he is.”

Dean picked me up and flipped us so I was laying on the bed underneath him. “Are you sure, sweetheart?”

My heart swelled. I reached my hands up and pulled his face down to mine, kissing him deeply, “Dean, baby, you are mine. Now and forever.”

“God, I love you.” He kissed me again, pushing his pants down at the same time. When his fingers slipped between my legs, he groaned, “Baby girl, you’re so wet.”

“Always for you.” My hand found his cock and I stroked him softly, “Make love to me, Dean.”

He climbed off the bed and finished taking off his pants. I held out my arms and he climbed back on top of my, lining up his cock with my entrance. As he slowly pushed into me, I moaned. His face dropped to my neck and he sucked a mark onto my skin, “Sweetheart, I love you.”

“I love you too, Dean.”

After, we were wrapped in each other’s arms, just enjoying the feeling of peace. I smiled and turned in his arms so I could look at his face, “You know, you have the cutest freckles.”

He flushed, “I do not.”

I traced the dots on his cheeks, “You do, and I love them. I love every inch of you, Dean Winchester.”

“And I love every inch of you, Arabella Anderson.”

“I think you need to talk to Sam. He’s been worried about you.” His eyes closed, “Come on, Dean. He needs to know that you’re alright. I thought he was going to freak out when he called me.”

“Fine, let’s go talk to him.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this story isn't done yet. But I actually have two that I'm thinking about writing next and I wanted to get your guys opinion on which one I should work on.  
> Becoming His - Jensen Ackles story. FMC rescues a kid, turns out to be Misha's. Meet Jensen Ackles, and they start a friendship/romance. I've already started that one, it has about 8500 words written. I have an idea of where I want to go with this, but nothing definitive. It will definitely have a lot of sex in it.  
> The Christmas Miracle - Supernatural AU. FMC grows up with Sam/Dean. Best friends with both of them. After 30 years of friendship, when Santa asks her what she wants for Christmas, she says that she wishes she could go back in time and tell Dean the truth. (This is based on a Hallmark Christmas movie I saw years ago). I have not started this one yet, but it will be a short (probably less than 30k words) fluffy story, PG at the worst. I have the entire thing planned out, as long as the characters cooperate with me :)


	13. Chapter 13

February 2015

It was our one year anniversary. I was wearing the same dress I had on our first date, meeting Dean at the same restaurant. The one we had never gotten to eat at. I had gotten a text message from him, telling him when and where to meet him. Saying that he had a big surprise for me. So here I was, standing outside the restaurant, wearing next to nothing, waiting for him.

The sound of wings had me looking behind me, thinking that Castiel was showing up for something. A man I didn’t recognize stood there, flanked by two others. “Arabella, you are coming with us.”

I backed up, “Who the fuck are you guys?”

Two hands gripped my arms from behind me. A woman's voice sent chills down my spine, “Name’s Naomi. I believe you know why we want you.”

She poofed us up to a fancy looking office space. White and serene. Everything was all clean lines and modern, but there were no windows anywhere. The three goons were there, looking menacing. Naomi released me and went to the desk, taking a seat behind it, “Welcome to Heaven, Arabella.”

I laughed, loudly, “Whatever you think bringing me here is going to do for you, you’re wrong.”

“Oh, you mean you aren’t Crowley’s little bitch? You mean you aren’t dating Dean Winchester?” She stood again and walked over to me. Gripped my face in her hand tight enough to leave bruises, “Sorry to burst your bubble, but we know everything about you. And we will get exactly what we need from you, one way or another.”

She pushed me away and I fell into the arms of one of the goons, “Take her to a cell. I’ll deal with her later.”

The two goons grabbed an arm each, and I held up my hands, “Look, guys, I know when I’ve been beaten. I’m just a puny human, I’ll go peacefully.” Their grips tightened. I winced, “Fine, whatever. Just take me to my ‘cell.’”

Time passed differently in heaven, much like it did in Hell. But still, I knew that days had passed since they had thrown me in jail. Twice a day they brought me food, but I couldn’t eat it. All I could do was worry about what was going to happen. Worry about Dean.

A noise had me standing, walking over to the edge of my cell. The sound of heels on the hard floor sent shivers down my spine. Naomi walked in front of my cell, grinning at me, “Hello again, Arabella.”

I sat back down on the bed and crossed my arms, “What do you want?”

She waved her hand and the cell door opened. She crooked her finger, “Come.”

“I’m not a dog.”

“Fine, we can do this the hard way if you want.” The two goons from before flanked her and entered my cell.

I rolled my eyes, “Seriously? You’re supposed to be the good guys. I’m not scared of you.”

They grabbed my arms tight and lifted me up, forcing me in front of Naomi. She gripped my neck, her fingernails digging into my skin, “We are the good guys, Arabella. But you, my sweet, are not. That means I can do whatever I want to you.”

Her hand was cutting off my oxygen supply, but I still managed to croak out, “I’m human.”

“Doesn’t matter. You work with Crowley. That alone makes you worthy of my attention.” 

She released my neck and I gasped for air, “Dean will never let you get away with this.”

She patted my cheek, “I don’t want him to. In fact, I’m hoping that he comes for you. That’s the point of this little escapade.” She snapped her fingers and the goons held tighter, “Take her.”

They nodded and poofed me into a dark environment. After a few seconds, my eyes adjusted and I saw that we were in a warehouse. Symbols and glyphs covered the walls. I recognized the ones for blocking demons from finding the place, but there several others that I couldn’t place. My assumption was that they were for blocking angels from finding us as well.

One of the goons left my side and started messing with some chain hanging from the ceiling. The other dragged me over toward him and grabbed both my hands, holding them above my head. They wrapped the chains around my wrists until I was dangling there, my toes barely touching the ground.

I couldn’t help it, I laughed, “Really? This is all you guys have.”

They glared but didn’t say anything. They simply disappeared. Suddenly, Naomi appeared in front of me with a different angel. This one was big, very muscular. Not in an attractive way, but more in a scary way. He tilted his head from side to side, cracking his neck.

Naomi chuckled at the fear in my eyes, “Arabella, this is Amenadiel. He’s going to be your… well, I don’t need to say the word. I’m sure you know what he’s going to do.”

Amenadiel went over to a table and placed a parcel down. Untying it, he unrolled the leather and I saw several implements used for torture. I laughed again, this time to hide my fear, “Naomi, I’m Crowley’s right hand. I’ve watched souls being tortured in Hell. Do you really think that whips and chains scare me?”

He pulled out a whip and cracked it in the air. My heart started racing. He put the whip down and grabbed a knife, walking over to me. I started to shake as the knife edge trailed along my torso. I was still in the same dress I wore when they kidnapped me. He didn’t press hard enough to cut, just hard enough that I could tell it was sharp.

The blade moved up and cut through the thin straps on the dress. It fell off me to the floor. Naomi laughed, “Really, you couldn’t even be bothered to wear underwear?”

“It wasn’t for you,” I shivered in the cold air as the knife went back to my skin. 

“Oh, I know.” She strutted over and laid a hand on my stomach, moving around behind me. Both of her hands pressed to my stomach, nails digging into my skin. I shuddered under her touch and she moved her hands up, her nails dragging marks on my flesh. “But Amenadiel is going to take care of you. Treat you the way you deserve.”

She walked away and pulled a phone out of her pocket, “And just in case you were wondering, Dean has been trying to get in touch with you.” She looked down at the device, “Happy anniversary, baby girl… Where are you, sweetheart? I thought we had a date… Are you still angry at me?... Come on, baby girl, answer your phone… I’m starting to get worried… I get it, Bella, I do. Please don’t be mad at me… Goddammit, Crowley doesn’t know where you are either, please answer your phone… I don’t know why you aren’t answering, but I love you.” She laughed, “Loverboy here seems worried. Maybe I should text him back for you.”

I pulled against the chains, not caring when I pushed the knife into my skin, “You bitch.”

“Tsk tsk, Arabella. You don’t want to make me mad.” She started typing on the phone, “Dean, my sweet, I’m done with you. Don’t call or text me again.” She threw the phone down on the table, “That ought to take care of it.” My phone started to ding with message after message, she just smiled down at it, “Seems he’s having a bit of a breakdown. Don’t worry, I’m sure someone will find you… eventually.”

She poofed out and Amenadiel looked at me, sadness in his eyes, “I’m sorry that I have to do this, Arabella. But duty calls.”

“Whatever.” I tensed, “Are you going to torture me, or talk me to death.”

His eyes brightened and he went back over to the table, picking up the whip, “Well, if that’s what you want.” He swung and the whip hit my body. I screamed loudly as it hit me, again and again. Any sadness I thought he had shown me disappeared, turning into glee as he beat me.

Several hours passed, my hands completely numb from being strung up by the chains. Blood dripped down my body. Amenadiel had spent more time ignoring me than beating me. But he had still worked me over fairly well. Tears rolled down my cheeks as I swung from the ceiling. 

Naomi popped into view, walked over and caressed my cheek. “My sweet, how are you feeling?”

I turned my head to the side and spit, wincing when blood flew out of my mouth. I turned back to her and grinned through the pain, “Never been better. Got any more?”

She dug her fingers into a cut Amenadiel had made on my stomach. I hissed as pain shot through my body. She brought her hand up and moved it around, looking at the blood on her fingers, “Arabella, I’ve got an endless supply of pain and suffering for you. But unfortunately, your boy toy and his pet angel are on their way here.”

Amenadiel handed her a knife and she smiled, the cruel grin worse than anything even Abaddon did, “But, if he comes in and finds you dead, well that is just a bonus for me.” She pointed the tip of the knife against my stomach and pushed in a little bit, just the tip. I screamed and she laughed, “Oh, my sweet, that was just the beginning.”

“We have to go, they’re getting close.”

She shoved the blade the rest of the way into my stomach, leaving it there. “See you later,” she winked and they both disappeared.

My vision started to blacken around the edges. My last thought was of Dean, of how hurt he would be when he found me.

A pain in my cheek had me opening my eyes. I was laying on the cold ground, Dean was above me, one hand on my stomach the other on my cheek, “Come on, sweetheart, please don’t leave me.” I could hear the pain in his voice. I tried to speak, but nothing came out other than a whimper. He turned to yell, “Dammit, Sammy. Where’s Cas? I can’t stop the bleeding.”

“Dean,” Sam’s voice was soft.

“No, Sammy, I can’t lose her.” He pressed a kiss to my forehead and I felt the tears dripping onto my skin, “I can’t lose her.” 

The blackness covered my vision again, the last thing I heard was Sam saying, “I’m sorry, Dean.”


	14. Chapter 14

March 2015

Something gripping my hand brought me back to reality. I was lying on a soft bed, wearing a large t-shirt, tucked under a thick blanket. I opened my eyes and saw that I was in Dean’s bedroom. Dean was sitting in a chair next to the bed, gripping my hand tightly.

I turned my head and smiled when I saw those green eyes again, “Hi, Dean.”

“Oh my god,” his eyes watered. “You’re okay.”

“Well, I’m still a little sore but…”

He leaned over and kissed me, hard, “I thought I’d lost you. You were gone for two weeks. I thought… I thought…”

I reached up and cupped his cheek, “I’m here now.”

Tears spilled down his cheeks, “I thought the worst. I thought that you didn’t want me anymore. That you were just ignoring me.”

“Dean,” I tried to keep my voice calm. “It’s okay. I would have thought the same thing.”

“No, I shouldn’t have thought those things about you. You loved me even when I was a demon. I can’t…” his voice broke as a sob escaped. “I can’t be the thing you need. Sweetheart, I’m a hunter. I’ve been a hunter for as long as I can remember. There is no out for me. I can’t give you the life you deserve.”

I sat up in the bed and turned so my legs were dangling off the edge to either side of him. Lifting his face, I wiped at the tears, “Dean Winchester, do you think I care about that kind of life?”

“But…”

“No, I don’t. If I wanted a normal life, I wouldn’t have sold my soul to Crowley for a friend.” He gave me a weird look and that was when I realized I had never told him why I had sold my soul. I sighed, “I love you, Dean. You. Not some guy in a suit who has a normal nine to five job. You save people. You are a bonafide hero. I don’t care that you still have the mark of Cain. I don’t care that you were a demon. I don’t care that you sometimes have to do things that would have made the old me squeamish.”

I ran my fingers through his hair, trying to calm him down, “When I kept my soul, do you know what I did?” He shook his head, “I had to kill a demon. I sliced his throat open and held him while the blood gushed out of his neck. I’ve done worse things since then. I’ve beaten demons when they got out of line, cut off fingers, sliced them up until they were sobbing. Does that make me a bad person? Someone not worthy of your love?”

“No.”

“Then why would you ever think that you aren’t good enough for me?”

“I…” His eyes dropped and I lifted his chin up and kissed him. Finally, he smiled but it disappeared just as quick, “I just don’t want you to miss out on anything in life because of me.”

“First, that’s stupid. I have everything I want in life.” His eyebrows raised, “Okay, almost everything. I think the only thing that would make life better is if I got to spend every second of my time with you. I don’t need marriage, kids, a white picket fence. I just need you.”

When he finally started to look like he believed me, I asked the thing I’d been dying to ask, “How long was I out for?”

“You were missing for two weeks before Cas finally got an angel to tell him what was going on. After we found you, Cas tried to heal you up completely but Naomi must have done something to you because he could only heal you most of the way.” He nodded in the direction of my stomach, “You’re going to have a scar.”

I lifted up my shirt and ran my fingers over the puckered skin, “Well, I guess that would explain why I’m still a little sore. But three weeks? Really?”

“God, I’ve been so worried about you.”

“Does Crowley know?”

“Yes, I told him.” His eyes hardened, “I also gave him shit for letting you get captured.”

“It’s not his fault, Dean.”

“He should have waited until you were with me. He should have…”

I placed a finger on his lips, “Dean, it’s not his fault. It’s not your fault. I was there early. Somehow they knew where I was.”

“Still…”

Standing, I straddled him on the chair cupping his face in my hands. Peppering soft kisses all over his face as I spoke, “Dean, listen to me… I’m fine… You saved me… I love you… I want forever with you… You are my happy ending.” He chuckled and I pulled back, “Even when you’re acting like a twelve-year-old boy, I love you.”

“How can I protect you if you’re not with me?”

“I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately.”

“You have?” he sounded lost.

I kissed him, hard, “Yes, baby, I have. I know that you and Sam still have work to do saving the world from evil things. And I’m still Crowley’s right hand. However, I was thinking that I could stay here with you when you guys aren’t out saving the world. When you are, I’ll stay at Crowley’s. This would give me the best of both worlds.”

His fingers dug into my hips as he gave me a hopeful expression, “Really? You would want that?”

“I love you, of course I want to spend time with you.” I kissed him and ground my hips against him, smiling as I felt him grow hard against me, “This way, I’ll be safe no matter what.”

I reached down to lift the shirt over my head, and he stopped me, “Leave it. I like seeing you in my clothes.” His finger dipped under the shirt and inside the boxers I was wearing, “Now these, you can take off.”

Climbing off his lap, I pushed down the boxers and kicked them to the side. My hand fell between my thighs. The instant my finger touched my clit I moaned. “Dean,” my other hand scrunched the shirt up so he could see what I was doing. 

His pupils expanded until his eyes looked almost black. Standing, he quickly stripped out of his clothes and I saw his cock jutting out from between his hips. I couldn’t help myself, I walked over to him and stood on my toes, lining up the V of my thighs with his cock, placing it between my spread legs. This angle wasn’t good for insertion, but it allowed my wetness to coat him.

Moving my hips back and forth, I masturbated his cock with my thighs. He groaned, stilling my hips with his hands, “Baby girl, I don’t want to come like this. It’s been so long.” He pulled me off him and spun me around, bending me so I had to put my hands on the bed. His hand caressed my ass, “How much of what we did when I was a… How much do you want?”

I looked back over my shoulder, “Dean, I want you. If that’s something you want, I can give it to you. Do you want me to call you daddy?” He shuddered a little and I giggled, “I’ll take that as a no. Do you want to spank my ass red?” He groaned, “Then do it, Dean. Make me remember you every time I sit.”

When his hand disappeared from my skin, I regretted the loss for an instant until it came down again, hard. The sound of flesh hitting flesh echoed through the room. I moaned, pushing my ass back against him. When I felt his cock enter my pussy, I moaned again. He just sat there still, both hands squeezing and rubbing my backside.

I tried to move and he growled, smacking both sides of my ass at the same time. “Did I say you can move?”

“No, Dean.” 

He smacked me again and I moaned, “Good girl.” He started moving, slowly. In and out, his thick cock stretching me. “Do you like that, baby girl? Is this what you want?”

“Dean,” my voice came out breathy. “Please fuck me. God, I need you so much.”

His pace quickened, “Whatever my baby girl needs.”

I started coming, moaning his name. “Dean… god… just like that.”

He thrust into me twice more, and I felt him erupt inside me, triggering another orgasm. As he softened inside me, he rubbed my trembling back, “Happy anniversary, my love.”

“Happy anniversary.”


	15. Chapter 15

April 2015

In order to prevent the angels from kidnapping me again, Castiel burned the same marks he gave Sam and Dean onto my ribs. Both boys were impressed when I stood there without flinching. It hurt, but after the pain I had endured, it was barely a pinprick.

After the protections carved onto my ribs, they took me to a tattoo artist to get the flaming pentagon sigil. Crowley even agreed with them. Happy that demons wouldn’t be able to invade me without permission. 

Dean and I grew closer as I spent more time at the bunker. Sam and Cas would take the easier hunts by themselves, leaving us at the bunker alone. We christened every room, running around naked so we could have sex whenever we wanted.

May 2015

Dean kicked me out of the bunker, back to Crowley’s. They were going to try something and didn’t want to tell me what. But as I was brought back to Crowley’s house, he and Rowena were leaving. They gave me the same run around the Winchester boys had, but I wasn’t worried. Little did they know that I was as sneaky as well as stubborn, and I had managed to listen in on their conversation.

They had talked about a way to free Dean from the mark of Cain. The possibility of fallout never crossed the minds of Cas and Sam. They only wanted the Dean they knew back. To be honest, so did I. As much as I loved him no matter what, being around him when he was angry could be scary. He would never intentionally hurt me, but it was the thought of what he would do unintentionally that scared me the most.

I got a text from Sam saying the mark was gone. Relief passed through me, making me happier than I had been in a long while. But when they told me what came with it, I got scared. Scared enough that I ran. I had the tattoo keeping me from demonic possession, carved ribs that kept angels from finding me, and another tattoo that Cas had said would protect me from witches scrying for me.

I couldn’t deal with the darkness, with Amara. I left a note for Crowley, telling him not to look for me. To Dean, I sent a text message. Telling him how much I loved him. That I didn’t want to leave, but I was scared. Scared for the first time since Crowley came into my life. I told him that I would check my phone once a week, letting him know how I was doing. But I begged him not to look for me. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to be with him, I needed to hide away from the terror that was coming our way.

June 2015 to May 2016

To tell the truth, I didn’t run far. I found a job working as an assistant in Lebanon, Kansas. Just outside of where the bunker was. I needed to be close by, just in case something happened. Once a week, like clockwork, I checked my phone. In the beginning, I got an abundance of texts from Dean. Asking me to come back, that Amara wasn’t that big of a deal. But after time, the number of texts dissipated, moving to one or two a month. Still, every week, I sent him a text reminding him that I loved him. Telling him how much I missed him, and that I was alright.

June 2016

It was a text message from Sam that drew me back to the bunker. I stood outside the door, unsure if I should go in or not. When Castiel materialized next to me, I wasn’t even surprised. “Hey, Cas.”

“Bella,” his voice was cool. “We didn’t expect to see you again.”

I turned and looked at him, wanting to cry at the vacant expression he was giving me, “Cas, I had to leave.”

“No, Bella. You didn’t  _ have  _ to leave. You chose to leave.” He glared at me, the anger seething beneath his calm exterior, “You chose to leave him.”

“I…”

He placed a hand on my shoulder, “Just because I am angry, does not mean I would keep you from him.” He poofed me just inside the door, “Go, find him. See what your desertion has wrought.” He disappeared and I was left standing at the top of the stairs by myself.

Voices came from the library. They sounded happy. I stood there, unsure if I should break up what sounded like a joyful moment. But when Dean’s voice rose above the others and I heard his laugh, I felt a tear roll down my cheek and I couldn’t wait. I walked down the stairs, trying not to make too much noise.

Sitting around the table, I saw Sam and Dean, as well as an older woman whom I didn’t know. She had blonde curly hair and looked remarkably similar to the boys. If I didn’t know that she was dead, I would have assumed she was their mother.

Her eyes lifted and she saw me. In a flash, she was in front of me, a knife held at my throat. She growled, “Who are you?”

I stared her down and took a step forward, pushing my skin further onto her knife. When I felt it prick my skin and the first drops of blood roll down my neck, I grinned. “I don’t know who you are, but you don’t scare me. I’m Crowley’s right hand, or at least, I was. I’ve faced down Abaddon, hellhounds, demons… A mere woman with a knife doesn’t do anything for me.” I took another step forward, forcing her to back up so she didn’t accidentally kill me, “Now, either kill me or move so I can talk to Dean.”

A hand landed on her shoulder. Sam spoke softly, “Mom, it’s okay. This is Bella, we told you about her.”

“Oh, this is the hussy that broke my boy.”

Dean was still sitting at the table, not saying a word. I looked over her shoulder at him, but he didn’t spare a glance my way. “Dean is stronger than you give him credit for, Mary Winchester,” I spat out her name. “Do you really think that something so insignificant as a girl could break him.” Dean’s head turned my way, but his expression was vacant, “Are you going to kill me, or talk me to death?”

Mary dropped her arm with the blade and took a step back. Her words still burned with a mother’s rage, “You are just a whore that my son picked up. You should not dare to speak to me that…”

“That’s enough,” Dean roared, slamming his hand on the table. He stood and walked over to where we stood and ripped the dagger out of his mother’s hand. “You may be my mother, but that doesn’t give you the right to speak to her that way.”

Sam and Mary both looked at him in shock. I dropped my gaze, knowing that what he was doing I didn’t deserve. “Dean,” I said softly.

“No, you are just as bad.” The anger in his voice brought tears to my eyes. I knew he would be mad at me, but I didn’t realize to what extent. He sighed, “Bella, look at me please.”

I shook my head, not wanting to show him the tears that streaked down my cheeks, “I’m sorry, Dean. Your mother is partially right, I shouldn’t have come. I’ll leave.” I turned and started walking out of the library.

A hand grabbed my arm, stopping me. “Sweetheart, please,” his voice broke.

“I’m sorry, Bella,” Mary spoke softly. “Dean, Sam and I will be elsewhere.” Their footsteps grew quieter as they left the room.

I choked back a sob, still not wanting to look at him. He pressed up against my back, wrapping his arms around my torso, “Bella, baby girl, please don’t cry.” He rocked me as we stood there, “Do you remember what you told me? That you would love me no matter what. Running away for a year, yes that hurt. It hurt more than I thought it could. But I never stopped loving you. Never.”

“Dean,” I could feel myself breaking, the sobs didn’t want to quit. I turned in his arms and buried my face in his chest, wrapping my arms around him, “I’m so sorry. I never wanted to leave, I was just…”

“Scared. I know, baby girl. I know.” He ran his fingers down my hair, trying to soothe me, “I was scared too. Amara was… We almost didn’t win. I was willing to sacrifice everything to stop the world from ending. Do you know what I thought of at that moment? You. How you would be hurt if I died.”

I finally looked up at him, seeing a small smile on his face, “I missed you, Dean. Every single day.” I reached up and pulled his face down to mine, placing a gentle kiss on his lips, “Every. Single. Fucking day. I promise to never run again. Whatever you stand against, I will be there by your side.”

“What about Crowley?”

“I still have a place in my heart for the King of Hell. He gave me a life that I never thought I could have.” I pressed my palm to his cheek, “He brought me you. I never would have met you if it weren’t for Crowley.”

“You would do that?” his words sounded unbelieving. “You would give up everything for me?”

“No,” I shook my head. “I wouldn’t be giving up anything, Dean, that’s the point. I would be gaining everything. Don’t you see, you are my happily ever after.”

“I’m not worth that.”

“You are worth more.” I stepped back and grabbed his hand, “Now, maybe you should introduce me to your mother properly. I think I made a bad first impression.”


	16. Chapter 16

Over the course of the next few years, many things happened, including Crowley’s death. That broke me in a way that I did not expect. He had died saving Sam and Dean. His last words were to Dean, telling him to take care of me.

Mary and I eventually became close. As close as the woman sleeping with her son and his mother could become. When they weren’t off fighting, she would tell stories about when Dean was a baby. When she got pulled into the rift with Lucifer, I thought it would tear Dean and me apart. It took a few months for him to come back to our bed and sleep through the night with me.

When Jack was brought to the bunker, I fell in love with him. Even though he was fully grown, he was still like a child in so many ways. Innocent and pure, he tried so hard to be good. It even got me thinking about having a child with Dean.

I brought up the idea of children with Dean once, he laughed at me. Told me that as long as he was a hunter, he would not bring a life into the world that could be taken from him. A life that could be used against him as a weapon. It made me sad, but I knew that he was right. A hunter’s life was no place for a child.

But through everything, Dean and I remained strong. Falling more in love with him every day was an easy task. He was the kind of man that little girls dreamed of being with. A hero. The kind of man who would lay down his life for another.

When Dean said yes to Michael to stop Lucifer, I got terrified again. Not of Dean, but of what Michael would make him do. Michael left him but did horrible things on Earth. But Dean ended up repossessed. I honestly thought we were lost when that happened. That I would never see Dean again. But we managed to trap Michael in Dean’s mind. He continued to fight them the best he could. Dean even considered sending himself to the bottom of the ocean in a box.

February 2019

On the eve of our seventh anniversary, they found a pearl, Baozhu. One of the eight ancient Chinese treasures. Supposedly, it would grant what your heart desires. Dean thought it would bring him freedom from Michael.

Sam and Dean were in the library, hiding from the rest of us. Mary and Cas were off doing something, and I was supposed to be taking a nap. But I knew something was going to happen. I stood just outside the library, wanting to know.

Sam spoke quietly, “Are you… are you sure you don’t want to call Mom or… or wait for Cas? What about Bella?”

“No. No, ‘cause you know, if this mojo works like you say, great. If not… why get their hopes up?”

Sam passed Dean the pearl, “Yeah.”

“Okay.” He looked down at the pearl, “So, what do I…”

Sam shrugged, “I don’t know. I-I guess you – you hold the pearl and – and concentrate on what your heart desires.”

“Michael outta my head. Got it.”

Dean held the pearl in his fist, closing his eyes. The lights in the bunkers started to flicker, red emergency lights flickering on. A man appeared behind Sam and swung. Sam tried to move out of the way, but he hit him with the butt of his gun, knocking him to the floor. Dean took a swing, but the man hit him several time, sending Dean to the ground as well. The sound of a gun cocking was deafening.

The man growled, “Don’t you move.”

The emergency lights turned off, the regular lights came back on. Both Sam and Dean looked at the man in shock. I grabbed a heavy object and snuck up behind him, intending to hit him in the head with it. At least until Dean said, “Dad?”

I dropped the object I had grabbed. As it clattered to the floor, they all looked at me. I smiled sheepishly, “Sorry, not sorry.”

John looked around the bunker in shock, “Dean? Sam? What in the hell?” The boys stood up from the ground, “Sammy. Aren’t you supposed to be in Palo Alto?”

“Palo Alto?” Sam sounded confused.

Dean spoke softly, “What year is it?”

“It’s 2003.”

I gasped in shock and Dean gave me a look. Covering my hand with my mouth, I backed away. Trying to give the boys some time. Sam said, “It’s 2019.”

“No, how?”

“We, uh… I… I think we summoned you.”

“You boys better tell me what the hell is going on, right now.”

“Shouldn’t you treat your children with a little more respect,” I couldn’t stop myself from speaking up. Even though Mary, Sam, and Dean had nothing but glowing stories to tell about John. I could tell from what they didn’t say how John really treated his kids. “I mean, I know you’re the ‘big man,’” I did the air quotes and spoke with as much sarcasm as I could muster, “but a man who treats his children as bad as you have, should be gentler with his words.”

“Bella,” Dean’s word held a warning.

“No, Dean. You know this needs to be said. You guys may have sung his praises, but I know John better than you.” I walked forward and poked John in the chest, shoving him back, “You abandoned your children just to hunt the Azazel.” I poked him again, “You left them alone for days a time while you went out and hunted. Forcing Dean to steal just to feed Sam.” My hand balled up into a fist, “The things you did to them.”

“Bella,” Dean’s voice was gentler this time. I looked over at him, “It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not.” John spoke up and we all turned to him, shocked, “I was a shitty father. The way I treated you boys, it was not what you deserved. I screwed up a lot with you guys, didn’t I?”

Sam said, “No, that’s okay.”

“No, it’s not. Sammy, tell me the truth.”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“You didn’t have a problem talking about it before you left,” John’s tone was accusatory.

Sam’s voice broke, “Dad… for me? That fight… that was a lifetime ago. I don’t even remember what I said, and – I mean… yeah. You know what? You did some messed-up things. But I don’t… I mean, when I think about you… and I think about you a lot… I don’t think about our – our fights. I think about you… I think about you on the floor of that hospital. And I think about how I never got to say goodbye.”

John put his hand on Sam’s shoulder, “Sam, son, I am so sorry.”

“I’m sorry, too. But you did your best, dad. You – you fought for us, and you loved us, and… that’s enough.”

I scoffed, but when Dean glared at me, I just sighed. I wrapped my arms around Dean and whispered in his ear, “I love you. I’m going back to our room, come find me when you are done with your father.”

A few hours later, Dean came in through the bedroom door, slightly drunk. I was lying in bed, wearing his favorite AC/DC shirt and nothing else, waiting for him to come to bed. He stripped out of his clothes and fell onto bed next to me, pulling me into his arms.

He laughed, “My dad’s back.”

“I know, Dean.”

“He likes you. No one has ever stood up to John Winchester that way before. It was the fucking hottest thing I’ve seen in a long time.”

I pushed him back on the bed and straddled his lap. As he grew hard beneath me, I grinned, “Really? All it takes to get you going is a strong woman?” I lifted up and slid his cock into me. Grabbing his hands, I held them above his head. He was stronger than me, which meant if he didn’t want to be held, I wouldn’t be able to. But instead, he just moaned. I moved up and down, slowly, torturing him with pleasure, “I love you, Dean.”

“God, I love you so much.” He tried to move his hands but I just pushed them back onto the bed, “Fuck, baby girl, what you do to me.”

I let go of his hands, “Keep them there, Dean. Or I will stop.” He nodded, “Good boy.” I trailed a finger down his cheek and onto his chest. My fingers dug into his pectoral muscles, causing his hips to buck up, thrusting his cock deeper into me. “Fuck, Dean.”

His hands gripped my hips and forced me up and down, hard and fast. I brought a hand to my clit and started to rub it, trying to bring myself to orgasm at the same time he came. “Baby girl, I won’t last much longer.”

“It’s okay, Dean,” I leaned down and kissed him hard, thrusting my tongue into his mouth. I tightened my pelvic muscles as he fucked me, and he groaned, gripping my skin tighter. As he came, I tightened my core again and began coming. I fell on top of him, shaking with my release. I lifted my head enough so that I could kiss him, “God, I love you.”

We found out that bringing John back had consequences. Dean was a wanted man, Sam was like Steve Jobs. There was only one way to fix the timeline. To bring everything back to the way it was supposed to be. Sam came to the conclusion that we had to destroy the pearl. As I wasn’t truly part of the family, I kissed Dean and left the room, letting them grieve as only blood can.

When Dean came back to me, he sobbed in my arms. Mourning the loss of his father, again.

April 2019

Jack went bad. He killed Mary, which turned out to be the final straw for Dean. We all tried to reason with him, but I understood why he felt the way he did. He had missed so much of his life with her, only to get her back and have her taken from him again. Chuck, God, gave Dean a gun. Saying it was the only way to kill Jack. He went off on his own to deal with it, not wanting me to have to see.

I was at the bunker with Sam, with Chuck. Chuck was playing with an angel blade, “I haven’t seen one of these in forever. Where’d you get it?”

“Another world,” Sam replied snarkily.

“Oh, right.”

“So… how many are there? How many other worlds or… or universes or realities or whatever?”

Chuck laughed, “I don’t know. Kinda lost count. Most of them are boring. One's in reverse. In one, there's no yellow. One – One of them's just all squirrels.”

“So, Michael said that you create these worlds and you just toss them away like failed versions of some book.”

“And you believe him?” Chuck looked shocked.

Sam glared, “Was he lying? Is that what you’re doing to us?”

Chuck laughed again, “No. Sam... you and your brother, of all the Sams and Deans in all the multiverse, you're my favorite. You're just so interesting. I mean, like that thing that happened at the office earlier today -- that was crazy, right?”

I stepped forward, “Do you watch us? When you’re not here, are you watching us?”

“Yeah, I mean, you’re my favorite show.” Chuck walked over to me and ran a finger down my cheek. I shuddered under his touch, “I especially loved the parts with you, Arabella.”

I took a step back and Sam stepped in front of me, blocking me from Chuck’s path, “They why don’t you do something? If I had your power…”

“Sam, we talked about this.” Chuck sighed, “Not the way it works.”

Sam held out his hand to stop me from moving forward and punching Chuck, “Wait a second. Why, when the chips are down, when the world is -- is failing, why does it always have to be on us?”

“Because you’re my guys. But right now, we need to focus on Jack.”

“Wait a second. You’re scared of him,” I said from behind Sam.

“Aren’t you?” Chuck moved toward me, but Sam moved in front of him again.

Sam put a hand on his chest, holding him in place, “Do you know where he is?”

“I do.”

“Then what are you waiting for?”

“Oh,” he paused and grinned. “Nothing. Dean’s already gone.”

“Where are they, Chuck?”

“Cemetery. But you’ll be too late.” Chuck disappeared, an evil grin on his face.

“Fuck.” Sam turned to me, “We have to go, now.”

We ran down to the garage and got into one of the many cars down there, speeding off. We pulled into the cemetery and got out of the car, running toward Dean. He had the gun pointed at Jack’s head as he kneeled on the ground.

Sam yelled, “Dean… Dean.” We kept running, “Dean, don’t. Dean!.”

When we got up to them, Dean kept the gun trained on Jack but yelled at us, “Stay back, both of you!”

Jack sounded sad, “You were right all along. I am a monster.”

Chuck popped in beside us. I turned to face him, balling my hands into fists, “Do something, you coward.” He just grinned, “You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?”

He just put a finger to his lips, “Shh.”

Dean cocked the gun and looked Jack in the eyes for several seconds before lowering the gun. He uncocked it and tossed it to the side. Chuck screamed, “No. Pick it up! Pick it up!”

Dean turned to us, “The hell, Chuck?”

He looked so angry, I truly thought he would kill us all, “This isn’t how the story is supposed to end?”

Cas moved next to us, “The story?”

“Look at it, the -- the -- the gathering storm, the gun, the -- the father killing his own son.” Chuck waved his arms, “This is Abraham and Isaac. This is epic!”

“Wait? What are you saying?” Dean moved a step closer to Chuck.

Sam sighed, “He's saying he's been playing us. This whole time.” He looked at Chuck angrily, “Our entire lives. Mom, Dad -- everything. This is all you because you wrote it all, right? Because -- Because what? Because we're your favorite show? Because we're part of your story?”

Chuck turned to Dean, “Okay, Dean, no offense, but your brother is stupid and crazy. And that kid is still dangerous. So pick up the gun. Pick it up... pull the trigger... and I'll bring her back. Your mom.”

“No.” He moved over to where Sam and I stood, “My mom was my hero. And I miss her, and I will miss her every second of my life, but she would not want this. And it's not like you even really care. 'Cause Sam's right. The Apocalypse, the first go-around, with Lucifer and Michael -- you knew everything that was going on, so why the games, Chuck, huh? Why don't You just snap your fingers and end it?”

Sam added, “And every other bad thing we've been killing, been dying over, where were you? Just sitting back and watching us suffer so we can do this over and over and over again -- fighting, losing people we love? When does it end? Tell me.”

“Dean, don’t do this,” Chuck almost sounded like he was pleading.

“No, we're done talking.” Dean stood strong and I placed a hand on his back, showing him that he had my support, “Cause this -- this isn't just a story. It's our lives! So God or no God, you go to hell.”

“Fine, have it your way.” Chuck snapped his fingers and light started to pour out of Jack’s eyes and mouth. 

He fell to the ground screaming and gasping. We all ran over to him, screaming his name. When we got over to Jack, his eyes were burnt out of his skull. Sam must have found the gun because he yelled, “Hey, Chuck!” and pulled the trigger, firing a bullet at God.

In the same spot that Chuck was hit with a bullet, Sam was as well. He fell to the ground groaning. Chuck looked at each of us in turn, “Fine! That's the way you want it? Story's over. Welcome to The End.”

He disappeared and the day turned to night. Dean walked over to Sam, “You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m good.” Sam forced himself to stand, “Wait. I thought Chuck said that the gun was the only thing that could…”

Cas looked heartbroken, “He’s a writer. Writers lie.”

Noises had us looking around. Streaks of light were shooting to the sky, swirling in the air and then diving to the ground. It happens over and over as we watch, terrified for what is coming. Dean grasped my hand in his, “What the hell is happening?”

“Souls. They’re souls from… from Hell.”


	17. Chapter 17

May 2020

The year after Chuck unleashed hell on Earth was too bloody and horrible to tell tales about. We survived, just barely. Sam, Dean, Cas, and I… we made it through the fight. We sent God to the Empty and ended his reign of terror. When he called himself a cruel and capricious god, he certainly wasn’t kidding. It took longer than we thought it would, but we still managed to finish it.

When Chuck was sent to the Empty, things in Heaven went a little nuts. Cas ended up going up and taking over, becoming their leader. Because he was instrumental in so many things - Metatron, Naomi, the Leviathans - that all the angels respected his opinions. Unfortunately, that meant we weren’t going to be able to see him very often, but we knew that he was needed there and not on Earth. With Chuck gone, it was only the normal monsters we had to worry about.

Chuck releasing all those souls not only brought back every monster Sam and Dean had ever killed, but it also brought back people as well. Adam, Crowley, and Samuel Campbell were just three of the ones brought back, only because they were in Hell. Samuel, as much of a dick as ever, ended up dying relatively quickly. Adam was found by Sam and Dean. Somehow, he was sane after spending all those years in the cage in Hell. A fake ID and he was off to college, getting a degree in engineering.

Crowley ended up becoming the King of Hell again. He came back as a demon, luckily, so it wasn't difficult for him to take Hell back. At least that was one less thing we had to worry about.

No one came back from Heaven though. So all of their old hunting buddies were still gone. It was sad that they didn't get to see Jo or Ellen again, but it meant they were happy in Heaven, so neither of my boys was too sad. 

Once everything was over, we were sitting in the bunker, drinking. As we had been for a month. Not enough to be drunk, just enough to celebrate. Dean was sitting silently, twirling the whiskey in his glass. I leaned against him, “Dean, what’s on your mind?”

“Hmm,” he looked up at me, surprised I said anything. “Just thinking about the future.”

Grabbing his hand, I interlaced my fingers with his, “What about the future?”

“What I want to do for the rest of my life now that Chuck is gone.” He downed the rest of the whiskey and set the glass down, “Alright everyone. I’ve been giving this a lot of thought. We’ve saved the world so many fucking times…”

“More times than we can even remember,” Sam added.

“I’m old, I’m tired. I mean, fuck, I’m forty-one years old.”

“You’re not old, baby,” I kissed his cheek.

He raised his eyebrows at me, “You wrinkle your nose when you lie, did you know that?” Dean laughed and then sighed, “I just… Sammy, you and me, we haven’t had a normal life since Mom died. I mean, you had those three years at Stanford, but other than that, we’ve spent our entire life on the road. Chuck’s gone, the big bads are gone, and anything else that’s left the young’uns can take care of.”

“Well, not that I disagree with you, but where are you going with this?” Sam took a swig of his drink. “I think I know what you’re gonna say. But I want to hear you say it.”

“I quit.” Dean grinned, “Fuck that felt fantastic.”

I frowned, “Are you sure, Dean? I can’t imagine you being happy in one place and not hunting.”

“God, Bella, sweetheart.” He got out of his chair and knelt on the floor in front of me, “I love you so fucking much. We’ve been together for seven years now. In that time, I’ve been a demon, Amara was an issue, there was Michael, and God. In that time, we’ve spent maybe half of it with each other. I want to go to sleep with you in my arms every night, wake up to your beautiful face.”

“Dean,” I felt myself tearing up.

“I don’t want you to have to worry about whether or not I’m coming home at the end of the day. I want Sammy to be able to marry, have kids, become a lawyer if he wants. As long as I’m still hunting, he will too.”

“You don’t have to give it up for me, Dean,” Sam’s voice was soft.

Dean gave Sam a small smile, “It’s not for you, Sammy.” He turned back to me and reached into his pocket, “It’s for Bella. And myself.” He grabbed my left hand, “I’ve been actively hunting for probably twenty-five years. I’ve been arrested, killed, tortured in Hell, and have done so many stupid things I couldn't possibly list them all. But the one thing that I’ve never regretted, meeting you.”

“Baby,” I reached out and cupped his cheek, “I love you so much.”

He grinned, “I love you too, baby girl. I want to ask you something.” He held up a solitaire sapphire ring, “Bella, you are my entire world. When I say I want to spend every day with you, I mean it. I never cared about getting married before I met you. So, Arabella, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?"

Tears streamed down my cheeks. For the first time since meeting Dean, I was speechless. My hand covered my open mouth as he knelt there, holding the ring. Dean started to get nervous, "Baby girl?" I nodded. Dean let out a big breath and slid the ring onto my finger.

He stood and pulled me to my feet, drawing me into his arms. His lips pressed against mine as he kissed me thoroughly. A noise had us both looking over at Sam. 

He had stood and was walking over to us. Once he reached us, he wrapped his arms around us both, "I'm so happy for you both. Now, I'm gonna go out for a drink to give you guys some time alone." He gave us a sappy grin, "I love you guys."

I pulled away from Dean and wrapped my arms around Sam's waist, "We love you too, Sam."

October 2020

_ You look so pretty, Bella.  _ Eileen signed.

Neither Dean nor I wanted a big wedding. We were still in the bunker while we saved money. Dean had managed to open up his own auto shop after selling a couple of the classic cars in the Men of Letters bunker. It had been just enough money to buy a small place and the tools needed to start working.

I took care of the books and appointments, he took care of the cars. We didn't have enough money to hire anyone else, but every spare cent we had was being saved to buy a house.

Sam was going to start school in the fall, going back to finish his law degree. Him and Eileen had gotten back together after everything that happened, especially since we were retired from hunting.

I stood in Dean and my room, smoothie g the white fabric of my dress over my hips. It was a halter top dress with an A-line skirt that came down to my knees. It wasn't expensive, but I looked really good in it. Dean was waiting in the library with Sam to take us to the courthouse.

_ Thanks, Eileen.  _ I gave her a hug.  _ You don’t look so bad yourself. _ Eileen was wearing a really pretty floral dress. None of us were getting especially dressed up. In fact, I expected Sam and Dean to be wearing jeans and their boots.

_ The boys are waiting for us. _

_ Well, we can’t keep them waiting too long, can we?  _ We both laughed.

Out in the library, the boys stood as we walked in. Sam went over to Eileen and gave her a kiss. Dean’s mouth feel open when he saw my dress. I did a little pirouette for him, showing him the entire outfit. He walked over and grabbed my waist, pulling me against him. “Fucking, sweetheart, you look so beautiful. How did I ever get so lucky?”

“I don’t know,” I pretended to think hard about it. He smacked my ass and I grinned, “Maybe it has something to do with how gorgeous you are.” I pressed a kiss against his lips, “Or maybe it's just because you are the best thing that ever happened to me. You are smart, funny, handsome, and love me. I’ll love you even when you’re old and gray.”

“Hey guys,” Sam said. We looked over to him. “How would you feel if Eileen and I joined you today?” I gave him a questioning look. He held up her hand to show us the ring she was wearing, “I just asked her to marry me and she said yes. We thought it would make it more special if we could share this with the two most special people in our life.”

“Oh my god,” I signed as well as spoke. I rushed over to Eileen and gave her a huge hug, “Of course you can.”

“If Bella says it’s okay, who am I to argue?” I glared at Dean and he laughed. Patting Sam on the back, he grinned, “Of course, Sammy. I’m already sharing the happiest day of my life with you. Did you really think I would say no?”

April 2021

“Hey, Dean,” I came out of the bathroom of our new house and climbed back into bed with him. Running my fingers over his naked chest, I placed a kiss on his shoulder, “Have you ever thought about having kids?”

“I’ve thought about it, back when I was younger. But hunting wasn’t really a good life for raising a child.” He turned his head to look at me, “Why?”

“Well,” my face flushed, “we may or may not be expecting a child in the next eight months.”

“Wait, really?” his eyes lit up. He laid a hand on my stomach, “Please tell me this isn’t a joke.”

“No, baby, we’re having a child.” I laid my hand over his, “I was so scared you wouldn’t want it.”

“Are you kidding?” He rolled over and got on top of me, looking down into my eyes, “Baby girl, I love you. I can’t tell you how happy it makes me that I get to have a mini you. I hope it’s a girl that I can spoil.”

“You don’t want a boy to teach about cars and guns.”

He shook his head, “Nope. I want a little girl that looks just like you. I can teach her all those things. Guns, cars, knives… The best thing about having a little girl would be spoiling her. One day walking her down the aisle when she falls in love.”

“You know, we could have a boy.”

“And if we do, I will love him just as much.” He leaned down and kissed me softly, “I’m just happy that I can share this with you.”

I wrapped my arms around him and he fell to the side so he wouldn’t crush me. My head went on his chest where I could hear his heartbeat, “You know, a few years ago you wouldn’t have been this sappy.”

“I guess being married and in love agrees with me.”

December 2021

“Come on, baby girl, push,” Dean held my hand, no wincing as I crushed his fingers.

“You push,” I groaned. “This is all your fault, you know.”

“I know, sweetheart.” He kissed my forehead, “Don’t worry. You never have to have another one.”

“Alright, Mr. and Mrs. Winchester. This is the last push and your child will be in the world.” The doctor gave us a smile, “One more push, that’s it.”

“You can do it, Bella.”

I bore down, grunting as I pushed. As my baby's head came out, the doctor told me I could stop pushing and pulled them the rest of the way out. I laid back, panting, “Is it a boy or a girl?”

We had been waiting to find out, wanting to be surprised. Dean wanted to know, but when I told him that I wanted to wait, he told me that he was fine waiting as well. The doctor handed the baby off to the nurse, who took them over to the cleaning area. We heard the baby cry and I felt a tear roll down my cheek.

“It’s a girl.”

Dean looked down at me, a huge smile on his face. “Sweetheart,” he kissed my lips.

“I know, Dean. I know.”

“What’s her name?” the nurse asked as she handed her to me.

I looked down at the perfect little girl in my arms. She had light blonde hair, and when she opened her eyes, she had the same green eyes that I loved so much on Dean. “Her name? Well, Dean and I talked about names, but I want to change it a little bit.”

Dean gave me a look and I smiled, “Don’t worry, baby, it’s a good change. I know we were planning on Rose for a first name, and I want to stay with that. But I wanted to change her middle name to remember your mother. How does Rose Mary Winchester sound to you?”

His eyes welled with tears. Rubbing his eyes, he leaned down and kissed his baby girl, “Rose Mary Winchester. I like it.” He kissed me, “I love you, sweetheart.”

“I love you too, Dean.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end. I'm a little sad to be leaving Bella and Dean's story. Writing their over 19 years was a lot of fun. I enjoyed seeing how they grew and fell in love. I hope you enjoyed their journey as much as I did.


End file.
